IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous peoples being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right privacy. To what extend do you agre

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has always been controversy over whether famous people should have
privacy
Use synonyms
. Some argue that public figures should have no expectation of
privacy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe they still deserve personal space. As far as I am concerned, I strongly believe that celebrities should have their personal space for several reasons: they have the
right
Use synonyms
 to live a normal
life
Use synonyms
,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
 boundaries should be respected, the invasion of their
privacy
Use synonyms
 can pose physical dangers. First of all, celebrities should have the
right
Use synonyms
 to live a normal
life
Use synonyms
 just like everyone else. They should be able to enjoy simple things
such
Linking Words
 as spending time with family, going out in public, or even just relaxing without constantly being photographed or reported on.
Privacy
Use synonyms
 is an essential part of every human
life
Use synonyms
, allowing people to live freely without fearing that their everyday actions will be exposed to the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, a famous singer might want to keep their family
life
Use synonyms
 private, but the
media
Use synonyms
 often intrudes and makes it public, affecting their personal relationships.
Moreover
Linking Words
, everyone deserves to have their boundaries respected, including public figures. They should have the
right
Use synonyms
 to decide what aspects of their lives remain private without being judged or pressured.
For example
Linking Words
, a well-known actor may wish to keep their health issues confidential, but the
media
Use synonyms
 may force them to share
such
Linking Words
 personal matters against their will. In some cases,
media
Use synonyms
 speculation can lead to false
rumors
Change the spelling
rumours
show examples
 that negatively impact their careers and reputations. Paparazzi often chase them to capture exclusive photos, leading to risky situations.
This
Linking Words
 can cause car accidents, injuries, or even worse.
For example
Linking Words
, a famous actress leaving an event may be rushed by paparazzi, causing her to fall and injure her ankle. In extreme cases,
media
Use synonyms
 harassment has even led to tragic incidents. In conclusion,
model
Add an article
the model
a model
show examples
 should have their freedom. They should have a
right
Use synonyms
 to live a normal
life
Use synonyms
 and their fans should respect their boundaries as well not having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peacefulness can physically pose a risk to the star figures.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that all points made are fully developed with examples or explanations. For instance, you can expand on how media speculation leads to false rumors by giving a specific example of a celebrity who was affected by this.
coherence and cohesion
Improve linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. Transition more smoothly between your points to create a more cohesive argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, make sure to summarize your main points clearly and reiterate your stance on the issue. This will create a stronger ending for your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, demonstrating a personal stance which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
You provide specific reasons for your argument regarding the necessity of privacy for celebrities, which adds depth to your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: