IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the number of new motorcycles sold by Harley Davidson and BMW between 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the number of new motorcycles sold by Harley Davidson and BMW between 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #motorcycles #harley #davidson #bmw #summarise #information #features #comparisons
the chart depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the number of new bikes sold by
harley
Change the capitalization
Harley
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 and
BMW
 enterprises over the
ten-years
Correct your spelling
ten-year
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of
Change preposition
apply
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period from 2010 to 2020 after analyzing the chart, it is clearly seen that for the harley
davidson
Add a comma
davidson,
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 the ratio of motorcycles
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 a downward
trend
 from the
year
 of 2010 to 2020
while
 that of
BMW
show
 inclined
trend
at the end
 of decade. from the start of the
year
davidson
Change the capitalization
Davidson
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 company showed a massive
traffic
 of buying their motorcycles beating
BMW
 massively in number attracting almost 180,000 visitors
then
 from the
year
 of 2012 to 2016 it
show
 a declined
trend
 which grows gradually getting almost 140,000 buyers after that between 2016 to 2020 it went on declining tremendously and hitting its lowest point of almost 100,000
traffic
furthermore
, at 2010 the
BMW
 enterprise
show
 inclined
trend
 approximately equal to 80,000
traffic
 generated
moreover
, it went on
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 crossing 100,000 buyers in
ther
Correct your spelling
the
their
year
 of 2016 the upward
trend
 did not stop there and went on increasing and reaching its highest point similor vear(2016) to
davidson
Change the capitalization
Davidson
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 having almost 120,000 people
traffic
 and continues
further
overall
, it is clearly seen that both the companies
hadmanufactures
Correct your spelling
had manufactures
 motorcycles which were brought by many visitors
however
davidson
Change the capitalization
Davidson
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 business got most of the profit from their buyers
while
 that of
BMW
 have less in the ratio of
profitibility
Correct your spelling
profitability
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bmw, davidson, show, trend, year, traffic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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