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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the number of new motorcycles sold by Harley Davidson and BMW between 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart below shows the number of new motorcycles sold by Harley Davidson and BMW between 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#bar #motorcycles #harley #davidson #bmw #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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the chart depicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the number of new bikes sold by
harley
Change the capitalization
Harley
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 and
BMW
Use synonyms
 enterprises over the
ten-years
Correct your spelling
ten-year
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
period from 2010 to 2020 after analyzing the chart, it is clearly seen that for the harley
Use synonyms
davidson
Add a comma
davidson,
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 the ratio of motorcycles
Use synonyms
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 a downward
trend
Use synonyms
 from the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2010 to 2020
while
Linking Words
 that of
BMW
Use synonyms
show
Use synonyms
 inclined
trend
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of decade. from the start of the
year
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
davidson
Change the capitalization
Davidson
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 company showed a massive
traffic
Use synonyms
 of buying their motorcycles beating
BMW
Use synonyms
 massively in number attracting almost 180,000 visitors
then
Linking Words
 from the
year
Use synonyms
 of 2012 to 2016 it
show
Use synonyms
 a declined
trend
Use synonyms
 which grows gradually getting almost 140,000 buyers after that between 2016 to 2020 it went on declining tremendously and hitting its lowest point of almost 100,000
traffic
Use synonyms
furthermore
Linking Words
, at 2010 the
BMW
Use synonyms
 enterprise
show
Use synonyms
 inclined
trend
Use synonyms
 approximately equal to 80,000
traffic
Use synonyms
 generated
moreover
Linking Words
, it went on
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 crossing 100,000 buyers in
ther
Correct your spelling
the
their
year
Use synonyms
 of 2016 the upward
trend
Use synonyms
 did not stop there and went on increasing and reaching its highest point similor vear(2016) to
Use synonyms
davidson
Change the capitalization
Davidson
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 having almost 120,000 people
traffic
Use synonyms
 and continues
further
Linking Words
overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that both the companies
hadmanufactures
Correct your spelling
had manufactures
 motorcycles which were brought by many visitors
however
Linking Words
Use synonyms
davidson
Change the capitalization
Davidson
show examples
 business got most of the profit from their buyers
while
Linking Words
 that of
BMW
Use synonyms
 have less in the ratio of
profitibility
Correct your spelling
profitability
Submitted by abdulahad08600 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bmw, davidson, show, trend, year, traffic with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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