IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the digital era, some people hold the opinion that utilizing social
media
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 is an undeniable threat to both the average person and society more generally. I partly agree with
this
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 statement, and in
this
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 essay, I will present why these types of
sites
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 have both beneficial and detrimental effects on everyone involved in them. One of the prime benefits of social
sites
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 is the communication opportunities they can offer. To be specific, people can enhance
as well as
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 build their relationships, regardless of geographical distance, as long as they have access to a stable internet connection.
In addition
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,
this
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 makes it one of the most convenient and cost-effective alternatives to traditional in-person meetings.
For instance
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, Google is an excellent example of a multinational company that organizes online training sessions and collaborative projects across the globe without the need for expensive and time-consuming travel.
Moreover
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, it allows us to enhance the education system and the way we acknowledge new skills, making it a handy tool for the young generation with low budgets who want to learn from qualified teachers they cannot afford.
Furthermore
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, these types of
sites
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 and apps are the only hope of receiving education.
For instance
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, during COVID-19, all online lessons and sessions were organized with the help of apps, namely WhatsApp and Zoom.
However
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, it is important to acknowledge that social networking
sites
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also
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 bring certain drawbacks to their users.
Initially
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, people who
addicted
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are addicted
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 to using internet
sites
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 are likely to face difficulties associated with their mental health and
overall
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 well-being. To clarify, constant exposure to curated images and content on social
media
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 can create feelings of loneliness, anxiety, stress, and depression, making it difficult to live freely as they always compare themselves with others’ unrealistic beauty standards. As an example, recently
due to
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 the social
media
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 app namely Instagram, several teenagers’ personal information was released to the whole world, making their lives miserable and full of shame.
In addition
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, these
sites
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 are the main reason for the proliferation of misinformation, which can lead to the spread of divisive narratives and polarization. With the help of these apps, low-grade companies can sell their third-grade goods at high prices. In conclusion,
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Although
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apply
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social
media
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 platforms can undoubtedly make
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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live
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lives
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 easy and productive. At the other end of the spectrum, there are potential risks hidden behind the tendency.

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that this idea is thoroughly developed. For example, it would be beneficial to further elaborate on how social media affects mental health with more examples or statistical data.
task response
Try to avoid general statements without support or clear examples. Strengthen your arguments with more specific evidence or research findings to enhance the credibility of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Maintaining a clear and consistent thread of logic throughout your essay is crucial. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and that transitions are seamless. Using transitional phrases will help to enhance the coherence of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Revisit the use of complex and compound sentences to enhance readability. Proper sentence variety can help improve the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
task response
You have provided relevant specific examples, such as the use of Google for virtual meetings and the role of WhatsApp and Zoom during COVID-19. This helps to support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The discussion in each paragraph generally follows a logical order, making it easier for readers to follow your points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • social isolation
  • virtual interactions
  • mental health
  • feelings of inadequacy
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • misinformation
  • destabilize
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • productivity
  • foster connections
  • educational content
  • social activism
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