More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The increasing prevalence of
obesity
is a concerning global health
issue that demands effective solutions. While
some propose raising the prices of unhealthy foods as a remedy, I strongly disagree with this
approach
. Instead
, I believe that combating obesity
requires a multifaceted approach
that encompasses education, promotion
of healthier lifestyles, and regulatory measures.
Rather than relying on price hikes, educating the public about the risks of consuming unhealthy foods is a more effective Correct article usage
the promotion
approach
. Raising awareness about the health
consequences empowers individuals to make informed dietary choices. Nutritional education in schools and fostering healthier eating habits can promote wellness and self-responsibility.
Promoting healthier lifestyles is crucial. Encouraging physical activity and exercise helps maintain a healthy weight and prevents obesity
-related health
issues. Creating environments that support physical activity, like safe public spaces and active transportation, can reduce obesity
rates.
While
price increases may not be optimal, regulatory measures have a role. Governments can consider taxing high-calorie and sugary beverages, implement
Wrong verb form
implementing
food
labeling
regulations, and Change the spelling
labelling
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricting
food
advertising to children to combat unhealthy marketing.
It's argued that raising food
prices deters consumption and fosters healthier eating habits. However
, this
may disproportionately impact low-income individuals, limiting their access to essential nutrition.
In conclusion, the obesity
challenge requires a balanced approach
. Raising food
prices may harm vulnerable populations. Instead
, focus on education, lifestyle promotion, and appropriate regulations to effectively address this
critical public health
issue. A multi-pronged strategy can create a sustainable path to combat obesity
and promote healthier living.Submitted by saynah_ on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your response addresses the prompt clearly and comprehensively, offering a balanced perspective on the issue of increasing the price of fattening foods. However, be cautious not to spend too much time discussing the opposing view, as the essay should primarily focus on your own position and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure that the progression of ideas is well-connected to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
You've utilized a good range of vocabulary and displayed a strong command of academic language. Continue to incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary to further demonstrate lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your essay exhibits a good level of grammatical control and accuracy. Pay attention to sentence variety and complex structures to enhance the grammatical range.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!