Some individuals say that mobile is unnecessary for a young group over other things that it's useful for young ones discuss both views and give your opinion

#individuals #group #ones

It is hard to imagine in the modern era a young person without a modern gadget in their hands.

Although

such

devices as mobile phones or

tabs

Correct your spelling

tablets

show examples

might give many

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

tools for an educational process as it may seem,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

there are some hidden

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

effects which can be given

also

, as I am going to explain

further

. First and foremost, state-of-the-art smartphones may have unlimited possibilities for studying at schools. It would seem that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

more and more applications for education have been appearing day by day. To exemplify, in today's world contemporary applications like Zoom or Skype have implemented tutors from all over the globe, especially if pupil's parents want their child to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

learnt

Correct your spelling

learn

show examples

a unique musical instrument like

harp

Correct article usage

the harp

show examples

Moreover

, it can be

extremelly

Correct your spelling

extremely

necessary in case of an emergency

due to

GPS technology.

On the other hand

, there is always two sides of a coin. Uncontrolled using can

also

do too much harm not only for mental children's health

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apply

show examples

but

also

may lead to some serious crimes. To be more precise, mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

sometimes can transform a normal average child into

Correct article usage

a coach

show examples

coach

Correct your spelling

couch

show examples

potatoe

Correct your spelling

potatoes

potato

because of an enormous amount of useless or even harmful content.

For instance

, phishing sites or really dangerous criminals sometimes provide information about earning easy money and ,

unfortunatelly

Correct your spelling

unfortunately

, it often finishes dramatically. Children may be kidnapped or even raped. In conclusion, in my view, there is no opportunity for mobile phones to be banned in the contemporary era

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apply

show examples

because they are simply ubiquitous.

However

, it must be controlled strictly by

Add an article

the teacher

a teacher

show examples

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

in schools and parents at home and if it

would be

Wrong verb form

show examples

so, it ought to have brought only positive effects.

Submitted by roker123456 on Sun Nov 12 2023

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Task Achievement

Address the task as per the prompt. Ensure that both views are discussed and provide a clear opinion based on the given topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a more coherent structure to present ideas and arguments. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph is linked logically to the next.

Lexical Resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas with more precision and variety. Also, pay attention to word choices and use appropriate transitions to improve coherence.

Grammatical Range

Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement to enhance clarity and coherence in the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some individuals say that mobile is unnecessary for a young group over other things that it's useful for young ones discuss both views and give your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Some people think an international car free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution.Others think there are more effective ways do to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation.to what extend do you agree or dis agree.

You recently broke your leg and your colleagues from work sent you get well cards and presents. Write a letter to them and say •Thanks them for supporting you. •Describe how you spend your time. •Explain about your recovery process.