Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encourage. others belive that children who are thought to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for answers and include any relevent examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Competition
and
cooperation
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
always been a prime concern of every individual since time immemorial. Some communities assert that challenging is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
crucial part among
children
,
while
others opine that collaboration between pupils can develop their behaviour into good. From my perceptive, both are significant
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
played by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society and
l
will discuss
this
matter in
further
paragraphs. On the one hand. There are numerous causative factors comprising the first notion. First and foremost, teenagers tend to develop their competitive mentality in
academic
Add an article
the academic
show examples
curriculum as they want to achieve their goals like
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
high score marks
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
exams,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
good jobs in their
feild
Correct your spelling
field
and so on.
Moreover
, since
this
has been becoming more eminent in
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
world, well-skilled and well-educated people are grown.
As a result
,
this
tendency may cause good for the economy.
For example
, during my
school's
Change noun form
school
show examples
time, my friend and I were conflicting every day with our grades and
l
could score high-level
mark
Fix the agreement mistake
marks
show examples
through
this
competition
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
contrast,
cooperation
between the
children
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
greatly
importat
Correct your spelling
important
to making
relationship
Correct article usage
a relationship
show examples
due to
they can value their friendship goals. To be more precise, it improves
better
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
contact among pupils
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
which will create
good
Add an article
a good
the good
show examples
society.
Besides
, students
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can share their happiness,
sad
Replace the word
sadness
show examples
, and feelings as well through
this
. As
a
Change the article
an
show examples
outcome is to
relief
Replace the word
relieve
show examples
their mental stress and get satisfaction. To illustrate it, when
l
was
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
my college, we
together
Add a missing verb
were together
show examples
to share our ideas and thoughts for our project. I could study
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of things and information through
these participation
Change the determiner
this participation
show examples
. To recapitulate,
Cooperation
and
competition
are by far the most important in each life. As far as
l
am concerned,
children
will achieve their and
whereas
they will keep good friendship. The
children
should be
teached
Correct your spelling
taught
show examples
healthy
competition
and
cooperation
.
Submitted by shahinka.687 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the response addresses all parts of the prompt, including discussing both views and giving a clear opinion. Provide specific examples and relevant reasons to support the views presented.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring the essay to ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points in the essay. Additionally, use linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used, including more precise and varied academic and formal language to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Focus on sentence structure and grammar to convey meaning clearly and effectively, paying attention to tense, subject-verb agreement, and word choice.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: