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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that physical education should be required part of every school day. Other believe the whole day on academic studies. Which view do you agree with use specific reasons and details to show your answer.

#people #education #part #school #studies #show
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A group of humans supports that physical education should be learned as a subject in each school. The other group thinks that the whole day is spent on academic studies. In my opinion,the first idea is an essential fact about children and their study life. First of all,
schools
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 and
collegues
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colleges
colleagues
 or other places which require pupils with knowledge, at the same time support their social and mental brain functions. They can learn to build healthy relationships or friendships there and it changes their life
to
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in
show examples
 a positive or negative direction. When schoolgirls and schoolboys show impolite treatment at
schools
Use synonyms
,
physiocologists
Correct your spelling
physiologists
 can speak to them about politeness and kindness, it prepares these children
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the next parts of their lives.
For example
Linking Words
, the newspaper of Baku State University wrote that a lot of
schools
Use synonyms
 were teaching physical education, and their student showed more developed grades during the academic term.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some teenagers come from poor and problematic families and it creates many unexpected problems for their study lives. Their motivation decline, they cannot adapt and are afraid to share their opinions with the other classmates.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these kinds of pupils do not finish school and commence to work or dramatically, a criminal lifestyle. BBC shows that every year 7 per cent of schoolboys can stop their academic studies and utilise bad
substences
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substances
 or addicted to some negative objects,
general
Correct article usage
a general
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 number of them do not accept requiring physical support. In conclusion, physical lessons play an enormous role in children's lives and they should be taught at
schools
Use synonyms
 for these listed reasons.
Submitted by zehrahesenova772 on

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task response
Support your reasons with more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically structured and linked to the previous one, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise language to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and grammatical constructions to showcase your language proficiency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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