IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some experts belive that it is better for childern to begain learning a foeign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. do the advantage of this outweight the diadvantages?

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It is a common tradition now to learn alternative
languages
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. Learning a
second
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language
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 in elementary
school
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 is superior to middle
school
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,
according to
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 a few specialists. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the
gain
Fix the agreement mistake
gains
show examples
 and
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 of
this
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 topic and provide my
overall
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 opinion. There is a lot of positive attraction to learning a foreign
language
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 at the start of
school
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.
First,
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we know that children have extra capabilities to learn at a faster rate.
For example
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, after being born, they grow up in the family and learn
language
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, culture, song,dance, and poetry naturally and very quickly.
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Second
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, learning a new
language
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 is better for communicating with other nations, and they can learn different things.
For instance
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, they can watch a foreign movie, play online games, share knowledge, and participate in different competitions, which helps them grow up. Despite these arguments, there are a lot of downsides to learning a
second
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language
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 for kids. Most of the time, infants forget their own
language
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 and their culture.
such
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 as when they are learning alternative
languages
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, they are attacked by
this
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 learning, and they always try to speak
this
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language
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. They are
also
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 always watching foreign movies, cartoons, etc.
Especially learning
Rephrase
Learning
show examples
 different
languages
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 creates overload and cannot maintain social activities.
For example
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, they have too little time to spend with friends and family. They need extra time to learn other
languages
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, and
for
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this
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 reason, their lives are overloaded. In conclusion, it is easy to say that learning additional
languages
Use synonyms
 at a fundamental
school
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 has advantages and disadvantages. From my point of view, it has lots of benefits to learn extra
language
Use synonyms
 at the primary stage. If we want to be global citizens, it's essential to learn a
second
Use synonyms
language
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and provide a clear opinion in the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the organization and connection between ideas to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and try to use words and phrases more accurately and effectively.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure and grammar to ensure more accurate and varied use of complex sentences and structures.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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