IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some experts belive that is better for childern to begain learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage

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It is a common tradition now to learn alternative
languages
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. Learning a
second
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 language in elementary school is superior to
middle
Correct article usage
a middle
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 academy,
according to
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 a few specialists. In
this
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 essay, I will explain the gains and drawbacks of
this
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 topic and provide my
overall
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 opinion. There is a lot of positive attraction to learning a foreign accent at the start of school.
First,
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we know that children have extra capabilities to learn at a faster rate.
For example
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, after being born, they grow up in the family and learn
word
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words
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, culture,
song
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songs
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,dance, and poetry naturally and very quickly.
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Second
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, learning a new language is better for communicating with other nations, and they can learn different things.
For instance
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, they can watch a foreign movie, play online games, share knowledge, and participate in different competitions, which helps them grow up. Despite these arguments, there are a lot of downsides to learning a
second
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 voice for kids. Most of the time, infants forget their own wording and their culture.
such
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 as when they are learning alternative
languages
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, they are attacked by
this
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 learning, and they always try to speak
this
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 expression. They are
also
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 always watching foreign movies, cartoons, etc.Learning different
languages
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 creates overload and
cannot
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one cannot
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 maintain social activities.
For example
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, they have too little time to spend with friends and family. They need extra time to learn other
languages
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, and
for
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this
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 reason, their lives are overloaded. In conclusion, it is easy to say that learning additional
languages
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 at a fundamental school has advantages and disadvantages. From my point of view, it has lots of benefits to learn extra accent at the primary stage. If we want to be global citizens, it's essential to learn a
second
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 language

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic and maintains a logical flow of ideas. Also, use appropriate transition words to connect ideas within and between sentences.
coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks a clear thesis statement and the conclusion needs to summarize the main points and provide a final opinion.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt, but the ideas are not fully developed and lack specific examples to support the arguments.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to be more precise and accurate in expressing ideas.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a range of sentence structures, but there are issues with tense consistency and word choice. Work on using complex structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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