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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#meat #health
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 present,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
like
Change the verb form
likes
show examples
 to eat different kinds of
food
is
Correct your spelling
it
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bring
Wrong verb form
brings
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 more
crusity
Correct your spelling
crusty
crudity
of
Change preposition
to
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 us.Everyone should eat
vegetables
 because
meat
Add a verb
meat is
meat was
show examples
 harmful
for
Change preposition
to
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 us . I will discuss my point of view in forthcoming paragraphs and will
also
clear
Replace the word
clarify
show examples
 my point that
how
Rephrase
apply
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meat
 is not good for us. First and foremost,we
are
Verb problem
use
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of using
of
Change preposition
apply
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meat
 and every person
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to used different kinds of
meat
 dishes but if we
use
 a lot of quantity of
this
food
 it damages our stomach.
For example
,if we talk about one
kind
 of
chicken
 it causes many different diseases when we consume
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chicken
 dishes and everyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
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 to eat,I would tell you that
chicken
 cause cancer which is close to
die
Change the verb form
dying
show examples
 a person and breast cancer is common in the women
moreover
 so many other diseases
such
 as hormonal problems which
effects
Change the verb form
effect
show examples
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 young girls.
Furthermore
,because of
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
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food
 and quick growth injections for hens cause these diseases.To illustrate,we should avoid
chicken
 especially
this
kind
 as far as,if it
manufactured
Add a missing verb
is manufactured
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a safe environment
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 we eat
this
.
On the other hand
,we should eat
vegetables
 more rather than any
kind
 of
meat
 because it keeps us healthy and energetic.There are several types of
vegetables
 and they are beneficial for us
such
 as green leaf
vegetables
 give us iron and
it's
Verb problem
are
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also
use
Wrong verb form
used
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our
Change preposition
in our
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 diet foods
moreover
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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fresh
Correct word choice
apply
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our skin that's why
use
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
lot.
Hence
,we should daily based
use
of
Change preposition
apply
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every
kind
 of
vegetables
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetable
show examples
and
Rephrase
daily and
show examples
 should tell our new generation that
this
 is essential for their bones and
also
 for growth.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
its
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 tend to eat everything which
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 with
chicken
 and we should avoid
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating these
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
show examples
 that
bad
Change the word
badly
show examples
 impact our health,we should spread awareness related
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 importance of
vegetables
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 how
is it
Verb problem
they are
show examples
 beneficial for us.
Submitted by rs55169611 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay. Ensure that ideas and examples are presented coherently and in a well-organized manner.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need improvement in clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported, but they lack elaboration and depth. Provide more detailed and relevant examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Provide a complete and comprehensive response to the task. Discuss both sides of the argument and express your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clear, relevant, and supported with specific examples. Also, make sure to address all parts of the task prompt.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chronic diseases
  • balanced diet
  • nutritional deficiencies
  • plant-based diet
  • ethical concerns
  • environmental impact
  • deforestation
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • sustainable
  • Vitamin B12
  • processed meat substitutes
  • social and cultural implications
  • mitigate
  • full-time vegetarian
  • plant-based options
  • health benefits
  • commit to vegetarianism
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