People in the current generation are not fit and active, and it will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue?

Nowadays, one can notice a
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
in physical activity in
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
population.
Thing
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Things
show examples
that may cause a
curcial
Correct your spelling
crucial
health problem in the future. There may be quite a bit reasons for that. In the following
paragraphs
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paragraphs,
show examples
I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
explain some reasons for
this
decline and try to suggest some solutions. In the contemporary era, more and more services are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
remotable,
thing
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things
show examples
that may be very
convenvient
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convenient
on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, but may
also
with
enomouruos
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environmental
advanteges
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advantages
on the other hand
.
For example
, one can
easilly
Correct your spelling
easily
order a meal via an app through the
smart phone
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smartphone
show examples
instead
of preparing it or even have a walk and eat outside. Another example is the
addective
Correct your spelling
addictive
adjective
screens that youngsters spend many
ours
Correct your spelling
hours
show examples
in front of it
instead
of doing any other
interisting
Correct your spelling
interesting
outdoor activity
such
as playing football or basketball. I think that we all have to resemble a collective responsibility and try to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
awareness for the importance of physical activity.
For instance
, a parent can educate their children to exercise from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age. Schools may
also
start every
learnong
Correct your spelling
learning
day with collective training in the
play ground
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playground
show examples
.
Also
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Also,
show examples
governments may conduct campaigns about
this
topic or even arrange a "
sport
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sports
show examples
day" for the whole area from time to time.
To conclude
, I think that sport may have an essential role in
indivedual
Correct your spelling
individual
fitness and even in mental fortitude, and in order to minimize the risk of different cardiovascular
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
and lower the overweight ratio the
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
of its importance may be elevated from childhood.
Submitted by leenaasalee on

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task response
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and there is an attempt to create a logical structure. However, there are coherence and cohesion issues throughout the essay, leading to a lack of smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • physically inactive
  • technological advancements
  • screen time
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • reliance on fast food
  • lack of motivation
  • lack of discipline
  • busy schedules
  • hectic lifestyles
  • outdoor and recreational spaces
  • regular exercise
  • physical activities
  • healthy eating habits
  • awareness
  • fitness
  • access
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