In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

Worldwide, rural residents are trading

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

for

cities

, which will result in

population

Add an article

a population

show examples

decrease

Change preposition

show examples

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

. I believe that

this

could have some negative consequences

such

as making

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

market competitive

as well as

excessive demand for more housing

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

cities

Firstly

, people who move to

cities

need to find a

job

, and as many of them are not able to be self-employed, they tend to be hired.

Therefore

, if the number of vacant positions

Change the verb form

show examples

less than the number of

job

seekers, finding a

job

will become a competitive procedure, which has some negative points.

For instance

, many recent graduates who may be very motivated, have to compete with experienced candidates who have recently moved to the

city

for

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

job

positions.

However

, the young recent graduates have a lot of passion, they may have a lower chance as they are immatures. Despite the competitive

job

market of

cities

, many businesses in

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

may phase off or decrease in profit as they do not have enough qualified

employes

Correct your spelling

employees

show examples

Secondly

, new residents need houses which again can be competitive if there are not many houses available.

For

this

reason, many

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apply

show examples

immigrants may reside on

out

Correct your spelling

our

show examples

skirt

Correct your spelling

outskirts

show examples

of the

city

or rent

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apply

show examples

housing for an unreasonably high price.

Nevertheless

, the movement of people from rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

may have some positive aspects. These people may have more medical and educational facilities.

For example

, the number of hospitals and private clinics

are

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show examples

considerably more in

city

centers

therefore

they can arrive

Change preposition

show examples

medical centers when a sudden health problem

such

as bone fracture

happen

Change the verb form

happens

show examples

. In conclusion, considerable problems may happen as many rural occupants migrate to inner

city

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

namely career and residential problems,

however

, it may have some benefits for them.

Submitted by saba.yazdany18 on Sun Nov 12 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear logical progression. Paragraphs should seamlessly flow from one idea to the next, ensuring that the reader is not confused at any point.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. Both should clearly establish and summarize the main points of the essay respectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your main points are supported, but the supporting details are not developed enough. Work on improving the depth and elaboration of your examples and arguments to better support your main points.

Task Achievement

You have addressed the task but you haven't developed a balanced argument. Ensure you explore both sides of the issue, providing more depth to your discussion.

Task Achievement

Try to present your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Work on constructing more developed sentences and paragraphs with a clear main idea supported by specific information or examples.

Task Achievement

Use more specific and relevant examples to underscore your arguments. Specific examples help to illustrate and support your points more effectively.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As well as making money, businesses also have responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views

People believe that not all school children have the natural ability to learn a new language. This means is not right to force all school children to study a foreign language. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?