You have recently moved to a new neighbourhood and would like to join a sports centre there. You have found a private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Write at least 150 words.

#neighbourhood #sports #centre #club #manager #questions #e #g #facilities #membership #costs

Dear Sir or Madam, My name is Carl Puran, and I have recently moved to the neighbourhood of Old Spandau. I am writing

this

letter to get some information about your

sports

centre. I have been either a member of a

sports

club

or gym wherever I have lived because you can say, I am very health conscious. So, after moving into

this

new neighbourhood, naturally, I felt the need to join a

sports

club

or gym; and

then

found out about your

sports

club

which is located very near where I live.

Apart from

this

convenient distance, I would like to join your

club

also

because the majority of the members of

this

club

are of my age, or at least,

that is

what I have heard. So it would be easier for me to relate to them or befriend a few of them. But, most importantly, your

sports

club

remains open during the weekends

also

when I usually have more time to enjoy the

club

activities. But, before I join your

club

, I have a couple of questions. Does the

club

have any children’s playground since I would bring my child with me

also

, sometimes? And, how much is the cost of membership? I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Carl Puran

Submitted by lakshmisnl5 on Sun Nov 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your letter provides clear paragraphs but ensure that each paragraph is centred around a single idea for better readability.

task achievement

The tasks are addressed, but more detail could enhance the response. Consider explaining your reasons for specific questions and provide more detail on how the club meets your needs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

218 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them.

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Learning out the past has no value for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree?