IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

. Some people believe that nawadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #nawadays #choices
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Today, most countries have undergone numerous changes in different fields. So, there is an argument that
due to
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 these changes, there is a variety of options to take. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement. I will discuss some of the reasons to support my view.
First,
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nowadays, the level of knowledge and awareness of people have significantly increased. So,compared to the past,we are witness to a good deal of progress in various fields
such
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 as
,
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 science, technology, communication etc.
Consequently
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, a diversity of job opportunities has been created. So, those who are seeking a job are faced with too many positions which can make them get confused about which job they pick out.
Furthermore
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, students who are supposed to select a field of study have the same problem. In many cases, because of a massive increase in fields, they find it hard to choose a major to study in university. Another issue is that when it comes to selecting an item,
for example
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, a cellphone or laptop, it can be difficult to decide which brand is better to buy. Because there are several companies which produce that item , and each brand has its own merit. So, you should take your time and think about it before making any decision.
Moreover
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, the communities, thanks to Wi-Fi facilities everywhere, can connect to the Internet and get loads of information or communicate with other people around the world .
Thus
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, individuals, even, have more choices in establishing
a
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apply
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new
friendship
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friendships
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.
To
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In
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 conclusion, nowadays, with
improvement
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improvements
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 in technology and knowledge, we see enormous options to choose from which in some cases can lead to
cofusion
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confusion
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 and anxiety.
Submitted by mrg1373 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly follows from the previous one and that there is a clear overall progression in your argument. Use cohesive devices appropriately.
task achievement
Make sure you fully address the prompt in your response. Expand upon your main points with specific examples to support your argument and provide more depth.
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