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Band 4.5

The table shows data about underground railway system in six major cities with data opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in million

The table shows data about underground railway system in six major cities with data opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in million
#data #railway #system #six #cities #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #million
The table shows information about the quantity of
date
Fix the agreement mistake
dates
show examples
 opened,
kilometres
, and passenger numbers from
system's
Correct article usage
the system's
show examples
 underground
railway
 in six main towns.
Overall
, the oldest underground
railway
 was in
London
, and the latest one was in Los Angeles. The longest
kilometres
Change the noun form
kilometre
show examples
 route was
London
's
railway
 and the shortest was in Kyoto, which
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
 newest subway before Los Angeles. Based on the data, the total of
railway'
Change noun form
railway
show examples
passengers
could
Verb problem
was
show examples
 not average based on
railway's
Correct article usage
the railway's
show examples
 first operational date,
due to
London
was gained
Wrong verb form
gaining
show examples
 775
passengers
 per year,
besides
 that the
London's
Change noun form
London
show examples
railway
 was the first underground train, and the
kilometres
Change the noun form
kilometre
show examples
 route was the longest than others.
In addition
, the underuse subway
was came
Change the verb form
came
show examples
 from Kyoto with the least contribution in
kilometres
 and less in
sum
Add an article
the sum
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passengers
 per year.
In contrast
, Tokyo's subway
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
succeeded in gaining a lot
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
passengers
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Tokyo and Kyoto were located in the same nation.
Submitted by fatimanastitiniskala on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, railway, london, passengers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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