IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #car #motorbike
In the contemporary world, road safety has been of serious public concern as people and regulators actively seek
for
Change preposition
apply
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solutions to reduce collision incidence.
While
 banning adolescents of a wider
age
 group from driving may seem like a remedy for
traffic
 safety,
such
 a policy is laden with issues and difficulties in implementation.
Thus
, I strongly argue against
this
 proposition change in regulation and the discussion below illustrates my opinion.
To begin
 with,
age
 is not regarded as a determinant of roadway dangers. There are many cases in which restricting teenage driving diminishes mobility autonomy. Increasing the legal
age
 for operating motor vehicles makes the young less capable of personal mobility,
therefore
 driving responsibility is shifted to adults in families.
Consequently
, a lack of time to earn income has arisen, which is not only considered a higher stressor for households but
also
 a discouragement to adolescents from being self-reliant in terms of travel.
Furthermore
, in numerous instances, teenagers surpass their parents in driving readiness because they possess up-to-date knowledge and find it easier to retain information. Changing the minimum driving
age
 for adolescents fails to guarantee the development of driving ability before growing into adults.
Thus
, when imposing stricter
age
 restrictions on drivers, many grown-ups might find themselves inadequately equipped to handle real-life
traffic
 scenarios.
Additionally
, elaborate skills in driving are often derived from extensive practice in problem-solving on the road.
Besides
, when increasing the legal driving
age
, regulators are not addressing the greater prominent cause of
traffic
 accidents, which may be the distraction of smart device usage
while
 driving. Ultimately, young
age
 should not be considered as a significant risk factor as distracting mobile devices. In summary, increasing the minimum
age
 to drive would not be a potential solution. In
this
 sense, I firmly oppose the approach of a higher
age
 to get a driving license as my personal belief is that people of all
age
 groups need to be well-educated and equipped with knowledge about
traffic
 rules.
Submitted by baonguyen9406n on

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lexical resource
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grammatical range
The essay displays a good command of grammar with varied sentence structures. However, there are minor errors in punctuation and word usage. Ensure that the grammar is consistently accurate to improve the grammatical range.

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Linking words for giving examples:

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