After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

#criminals #crimes #people #measures

There is a terrible phenomenon that a massive amount of

criminals

are always illegal again after being punished.

This

essay will provide two main factors leading to these problems and give some solutions to deal with

this

issue. First of all, there are lack of an educated system to indicate

criminals

after pushing, and society does not have a correct attitude to accept people who did something illegally.

Therefore

, it is extremely difficult for ex-

criminals

to find a job to support their daily expense.

Due to

survival, they are forced to do something badly.

For example

, in Taiwan, 43% of people were sent back to prison during the time that they were released 1 year ago because they could not do normal work in

this

society. In brief,

this

problem is caused by limited job opportunities and abilities for

criminals

In addition

, providing several courses about practical skills for

criminals

and rewarding supervisors who employ an ex-criminal in their company are two main solutions.

As a result

, individuals will become more competitive in the labour market after leaving prison. What's more, the employee's motivation will increase because of some benefits of recruiting

criminals

According to

a report published by Japan in 2000, the rate of committing again sharply declined by 21%

while

they carried out the course about how to fix machines and cooperate with factories.

Hence

, making

criminals

available to work is beneficial for society. In conclusion, the problem of backing to jail is attributed to the chances of occasions for

criminals

Thus

, we should not only optimize their techniques but

also

encourage people to provide more opportunities for ex-

criminals

Submitted by J.C.Li.1997.11 on Mon Jan 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Though the logical structure of the essay is relatively clear, some sentences could be elaborated on for better clarity. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by cohesive devices and appropriate paragraphing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened by more directly addressing the prompt and clearly stating the essay's position on the topic. Try to start with a stronger hook in the introduction and finish with a more impactful final statement.

coherence cohesion

Introduce more specific and detailed examples to support your main points. This will help to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic and enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay shows a good attempt at responding completely to the task by discussing why criminals continue to commit crimes and suggesting measures. To improve, ensure you address each aspect of the question in equal measure and avoid repeating ideas.

task achievement

The ideas provided are on topic, but aim to develop them more fully for a clearer and more comprehensive response. Expand on the explanations to show deeper insight into the causes and solutions of the problem.

task achievement

Your use of examples is good, but more specific, real-life incidents and data could improve the essay's effectiveness. Ensure that the examples used are directly relevant to the argument being made and integrate them smoothly into the discussion.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rehabilitation
reintegration
recidivism
underlying issues
support systems
criminal networks
peer pressure
barriers
psychological assessment
addiction treatment
economic factors
sentencing
data analysis
community-based programs
restorative justice
vocational training
social inequalities
preventive measures
post-release
crime cycle

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After being punished, many criminals continue to commit crimes. Why do some people commit crimes even after having been punished? What measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?