IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 milion vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#first #car #british #roads #year #milion #vehicles #alternative #forms #transport #laws #control #ownership
British roads, which saw their first
car
 in 1888, now have 29 million vehicles on them. Lately, the introduction of international laws to control
car
 ownership and in favour of alternative means of transportation have been extensively discussed.
Overall
, I agree with the idea that
this
 is the correct way to move forward.
Firstly
, if we look at
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
, a prime example
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 what can go wrong if we do not take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 can be seen in the United States, a country so dependent on private vehicles that the environment, the efficiency of the country and the health of its citizens are paying the price for it.
Furthermore
, the example of the US, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
yet to implement strong legislation against the
car
 industry,
also
 shows us how timing is crucial. The more we wait, the harder it will be to revert
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 negative effects
this
 phenomenon is causing.
Secondly
, when people take the defence of private cars so firmly, the most common arguments are in favour of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
comfort and practicality;
however
,
this
 only comes to show that they have not visited
countries
 like Switzerland. These
countries
, which were designed with public transport in mind, are testimony
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the fact that wealth doesn’t translate
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 owning a
car
;
moreover
, they show that private and public transport can and should coexist. In conclusion, the problem that an increasing amount of private cars is causing should not be underestimated and countermeasures must be taken to limit the damage and ideally find a balance. We should take
countries
 like Switzerland as a model that can teach the world a lesson:” a developed and modern country is not one where the poor have a
car
, it is a place where the rich do not own one”.
Submitted by mtmongillo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: