IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today. many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities
Citizens in metropolises are dealing with the problem
that is
Verb problem
of
show examples
 not knowing their
neighbours
. Perhaps the most contributing factor is because development of technology which reduces their
time
 outside and isolation causing intolerance from
people
 next to them. The solution is to bond with
neighbours
 on a regular basis and will be given in the latter. In terms of the first cause, the growth of mobile phones is affecting relationships between
people
 in the same city. The reasons can be found that humans invest countless hours in social media seeking unreal friends or playing video games to entertain themselves. It is just similar to a loop until they turn into seniors,
for instance
, working nine-to-five and spending free
time
 on the mentioned gadgets and applications.
Consequently
,
people
 who are literally closest to them are unknown house owners and can create a sense of shame when demanding assistance in certain circumstances
as well as
 difficulty in communicating. The next cause is isolation,
people
 will not know or catch up with the events occurring in the neighbourhood.
Furthermore
, it makes intolerance between households,
in other words
, forgiveness is hard to ask. Examples can be seen in households that have a party over the day, it absolutely annoys
people
 around,
however
, if there is a relationship, everything will be fine. Potential remedies can be found within the residents to start communicating with their
neighbours
 and aid if issues happen. By changing
this
, their honour will increase
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the way
people
 treat them will definitely be better. Minimizing the
time
 spent on devices and getting a bond with them can lead to the mentioned benefits. In conclusion,
people
 do not know their
neighbours
 is a tough problem,
nevertheless
, there are still numerous solutions to address
this
 by managing
time
 to pour in advanced gadgets and form conversations and friendships.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-developed and coherent in most parts of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their purpose, setting the stage for the discussion and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides relevant and well-developed ideas with strong supporting examples.
task achievement
The complete response covers the prompt adequately, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Community spirit
  • Isolation
  • Surveillance
  • Safety and security
  • Vulnerability
  • Support networks
  • Local gatherings
  • Foster
  • Social media platforms
  • Neighbourhood watch
  • Emergency situations
  • Natural disasters
  • Shared resources
  • Crime rates
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