IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large city. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

#people #neighbours #city
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In large cities,
careless
Correct article usage
the careless
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altitude
Correct your spelling
attitude
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 of
people
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 toward their neighbours is becoming a problem. The main cause could be given is the fast living
pace
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 in cities, yet there is a solution of organising the
activities
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 for
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neighbourhood
Add an article
the neighbourhood
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. There is a fact that the living style in cities
is isolating
Wrong verb form
isolates
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people
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. The fast
pace
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 of living would reduce the time
which
Correct word choice
that
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people
Use synonyms
 could use for improving relations around them, eventually
prevent
Wrong verb form
preventing
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 citizens
to get
Change preposition
from getting
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 to know each other.
This
Linking Words
 is true in New York, where, work
continue
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
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 from day to night since the daily jobs
is
Change the verb form
are
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 massive,
people
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 have to fit in with the
fast
Correct word choice
fast-paced
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 living
pace
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,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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 they do not have time for their neighbours.
However
Linking Words
, a solution could be given to the
government
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 about events and
activities
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. The greatest approach is that the
government
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 could hold an event which requires teamwork for
people
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 in the
neighbourhood
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 to take part in. As they participate in these events and
activities
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,
people
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 would work together and have similar feelings,
this
Linking Words
 action of
government
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 would naturally develop the bond between
people
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 and their neighbours. An example of the
Replace the word
effectiveness
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effective
Replace the word
effectiveness
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 of
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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these
activities
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in
Add a missing verb
is in
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 Finland, where
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the neighbourhood
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neighbourhood
Correct article usage
the neighbourhood
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 would celebrate the new year together in the culture centre or outside the road and
this
Linking Words
 event
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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Correct article usage
a positive
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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Replace the word
effect
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effected
Replace the word
effect
show examples
Change preposition
on
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to
Change preposition
on
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 their relationship. In conclusion, the fast living
pace
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 taken
people
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’s time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve and expand their
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
government
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 could organize an event or activity
for developing
Change preposition
to develop
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 bonds in the
neighbourhood
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 as a solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of the essay by organizing the content into clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Additionally, ensure that the introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the key points.
task achievement
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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