Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can done about this?

#people #neighbours #cities

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are likely to have little time to socialize with their neighbours.

This

Linking Words

is happening

due to

Linking Words

the busy lives which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

caused by the urbanization and industrialization in major cities.

This

Linking Words

issue can be addressed by doing outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

. The main reason why

people

Use synonyms

do not know their neighbours is that they are too busy to care about it. Individuals must work hard in order to offer income for their daily

activities

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in a nuclear family, both the husband and the wife have a nine-to-five job, working enthusiastically to earn high revenue.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they have to chart to retain their positions in the workplace so that they can be promoted and get higher salaries. Another point to discuss is the frequency of traffic jams in metropolitans, especially during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

rush hour, so employees are always stuck in the traffic and waste a lot of time in the day.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

do not have enough time to communicate with their neighbours, they want to get rest to regain their energy to start a new day.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

problem can be resolved by social outdoor

activities

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

can celebrate a ceremony together during some traditional events. They can

also

Linking Words

hold on weekly parties which

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

take place in someone's house.

For individuals

Change preposition

Individuals

show examples

who already have a family,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can let their children play with other children in the neighbourhood and create

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

friendship

Fix the agreement mistake

friendships

show examples

Consequently

Linking Words

, the children are not the only ones who make new friends but

as well as

Linking Words

their parents. In conclusion, bustling lives can affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how residents recognize the

people

Use synonyms

surround them. But

this

Linking Words

current predicament can possibly be alleviated by

activities

Use synonyms

that bring everyone closer

such

Linking Words

as cheering an event together,

letting

Correct word choice

and letting

show examples

their offspring play with each other.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Nov 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

The essay addresses the topic but does not fully develop the ideas, leading to a lack of clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but the development of ideas lacks coherence and depth. The essay would benefit from stronger connections between ideas and better organization of supporting points.

lexical resource

The lexical resource used in the essay is adequate, but the vocabulary and language choice could be more varied and precise. Additionally, there are some instances of inaccurate word usage and awkward phrasing.

grammatical range

The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and word form. More accurate and complex sentence structures would enhance the overall language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Community spirit
Isolation
Surveillance
Safety and security
Vulnerability
Support networks
Local gatherings
Foster
Social media platforms
Neighbourhood watch
Emergency situations
Natural disasters
Shared resources
Crime rates

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/she has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, give details of the course you took at the university explain why you recommend the university give some advice about how to apply
I hope you are doing well. I was super excited when heard that you are continuing your study at The University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada. I am writing this letter to provide you a few details about Biological Science.
7
band
An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?
In recent years, the popularity of cosmetic surgery has soared, with an increasing number of individuals opting for surgical procedures to enhance their physical appearance. The primary reason for people choosing to alter their appearance is societal attitudes surrounding beauty standards. In light of this, I contend that this trend has adverse effects on an individual’s physical and psychological welfare.
6
band
Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?
It is generally believed that we produce more garbage in the environment than we can dispose of and we litter too much, developing a "throw-away" culture. I fully agree with this matter due to the huge costs of modernizing the way we dispose of our rubbish. In order to make a clean environment, we must make more biodegradable materials as well as foster online shopping to avoid producing garbage.
6
band
In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the global surge in crime rates has sparked urgent discussions on effective strategies to combat this pressing issue. While some advocate for a heavy-handed approach focused on bolstering law enforcement and increasing incarceration rates, others argue that addressing the root causes of criminal behavior is essential for long-term success. I firmly agree with the latter perspective, as I believe that tackling factors such as poverty and limited educational opportunities is paramount in addressing the complex web of issues that contribute to criminal activities.
8
band
FILM STAR AND OTHER CELEBRITIES SOMETIME SAY THEIR VIEW IN THE PUBLIC ABOUT TOPICS THAT DOES NOT RELATE TO THEIR PROFESSION IS IT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING GIVE REASONS TO YOUR ANSWERS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLES TO
Nowadays it is very commonly seen how real-life stars and celebrities opine about almost every affair which may not be relevant to their career and stream of the profession and has caused a major impact on the people who look up to them. I believe it is a negative development, and in the following paragraphs, I shall propagate my viewpoints on this phenomenon.

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can done about this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative change?

Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem ?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It is not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

FILM STAR AND OTHER CELEBRITIES SOMETIME SAY THEIR VIEW IN THE PUBLIC ABOUT TOPICS THAT DOES NOT RELATE TO THEIR PROFESSION IS IT A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING GIVE REASONS TO YOUR ANSWERS AND RELEVANT EXAMPLES TO