IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In nearly all science courses at university, there are significantly more male students than female students. What is the reason for this? What could be done to balance out the numbers?

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The majority
students
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 of
science
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courses
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 are male
students
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. It is popular that the number of male educators is higher than female learners. In the following, I will elaborate more on the reasons behind that and
then
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 discuss what we can do to address
this
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 issue. One of the most crucial reasons for a higher proportion of male
students
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 studying
science
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-related
fields
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 is rooted in traditional stereotypes that assume
science
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courses
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 are specified only to the male gender. In fact, most people assume male
students
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 have advanced intellectual capabilities and
hence
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 they can excel more
efficient
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efficiently
show examples
 compared with
women
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.
Furthermore
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, there is a lack of
women
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 role models in scientific
fields
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 that inspire more females to engage in
science
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fields
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. Exisiting of successful
women
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 greatly motivates girls to study
science
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courses
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. Turn to the solutions for a higher ratio of male
students
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 in
science
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 majors ,
first,
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it is crucial to challenge the traditional stereotypes and provide more profound examples about how
women
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 can be professionals in any field not only in
science
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fields
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.
However
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, there is no evidence that male
students
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 have more advanced skills compared to
girl
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female
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 ones.
Hence
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, it is essential to support distinctive learning environments that support
women
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 to pursue
science
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courses
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.
Additionally
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, engaging
women
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 in attractive scientific programs would motivate them to choose
science
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 as a major field in their higher education.
Furthermore
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, provides
women
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 with supportive inspiration from scientific female role models, encouraging them to apply to
science
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courses
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.
To conclude
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, the reason behind the higher ratio of male
students
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 in
science
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courses
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 is related to traditional community background and false assumptions that male individuals have more capabilities compared with
women
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. To address
this
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 issue, we should challenge traditional norms and assumptions.
Then
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, we should provide interactive learning environments that support
women
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 to pursue studying
science
Use synonyms
courses
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.

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the reasons for the gender disparity in science courses and proposes potential solutions. However, the response could be more comprehensive and provide deeper analysis of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices and linking words could be improved to enhance coherence.
lexical resource
The essay utilizes a range of vocabulary to express ideas, but there is room for improvement in choosing more precise and varied lexical items and collocations to enhance the quality of writing.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable control of grammar and sentence structures, but there are instances of errors that affect the overall clarity and coherence of the writing.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender imbalance
  • Gender stereotypes
  • Representation
  • Discrimination
  • Bias
  • Career choices
  • Support and encouragement
  • Engagement
  • Curriculum
  • Teaching methods
  • Awareness
  • Inclusivity
  • Mentorship
  • Programs
  • Equality
  • Diversity
  • Opportunities
  • Role models
  • Media portrayal
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