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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below give information on average life expectancy in four countries, from 1993 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on average life expectancy in four countries, from 1993 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart compares the
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in four countries in 2008 and the table provides information about the
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 change between 1958 and 2008 in these four countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 was the highest in Japan and lowest in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
. The increase in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 was greater in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 than the other countries. In 2008, the
people
Use synonyms
 of Japan had a much higher
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 which was close to 82
years
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
 of
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
life
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expectancy
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 rate of about 70
years
Use synonyms
. The
life
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expectancy
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 of
people
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 in Korea was higher by nearly 2
years
Use synonyms
 than that of the
people
Use synonyms
 in the USA with approximately 77
years
Use synonyms
 of
life
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expectancy
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. Between 1953 and 2008, the
life
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expectancy
Use synonyms
 of
people
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 in
Indonesia
Use synonyms
 showed a remarkable increase of 15.7
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 a growth of 12.5
years
Use synonyms
 can be observed in Korea.
While
Linking Words
 the USA saw the lowest rise in
life
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expectancy
Use synonyms
 with 3
years
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, it was a little greater in Japan than in the USA by 0.5
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, expectancy, people, indonesia, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • significant
  • improvements
  • economic factors
  • lifestyle changes
  • healthcare
  • average
  • convergence
  • divergence
  • overall trend
  • future patterns
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