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Band 5

Some people think the developments of technology make people's life more complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #developments #technology #life
Currently, the technology is developing rapidly. It can be seen from the external environment that it is developing so much. Even in educational institutions,
robots
 will be employed. I think
this
 is a big mistake The USA schools recently conducted
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research work and expertise in the field that about 700 teachers are at risk of missing.
Instead
 of them, robot teachers will be accepted(тезис)
Firstly
 a teacher is not only a source of information, but
also
 a person who gives life lessons and advice and supports in difficult times. Only the assumption that in the future only doctors, psycho-experts and politicians can be replaced by
robots
 is true. And the amount of threats to the rest of the specialist owners is slightly lower.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 a tutor who works as a teacher will not need specialists in the future. After all, rather than waste, it will be replaced by
robots
 that work
according to
 time and system, or another area of technology can deprive these specialists of their jobs.
For example
, a simple English tutor. After all, mobile applications,
sources
Correct word choice
and sources
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 of information provided by the internet, all
this
 does not require much work. The amount of your losses will
also
 be reduced. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 I want to say
Robots
 will not be able to occupy the place of the teacher they will not be able to communicate well with the child. It is even less likely if you consider that implementing
robots
 in the classroom is not economically scalable, and does not bring major financial benefits.
Submitted by marina.parmenova on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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