IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that museums and historical places should be free of charge, while others think that visitors should pay to visit them. What is your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums and ancient
places
Use synonyms
 reveal the staggering
hystorical
Correct your spelling
historical
 movements to the public who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
craved to know about the story behind the history. It is argued that visitors to
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 should not pay to
visit
Use synonyms
 them
while
Linking Words
 others assert that it has to be paid.
This
Linking Words
 essay
agrees
Add the preposition
agrees on
agrees to
agrees with
show examples
 the latter as it provides an opportunity to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sustainability and to uplift the
thougts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
 of cultural values amongst individuals. Charging a reasonable amount to
visit
Use synonyms
 a museum or an ancient place would definitely cater a path to cover
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the general maintenance cost of
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
. The buildings
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 exhibits are kept need to be in good condition.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the staff allocated for the services
such
Linking Words
 as management,
security
Use synonyms
 and cleaning
also
Linking Words
 to be paid.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 museums should have a proper
security
Use synonyms
 system
such
Linking Words
 as
security
Use synonyms
 guards and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high tech
Add a hyphen
high-tech
show examples
24 hours
Correct your spelling
24-hour
 surveillance cameras in order to protect these artefacts from relic hunters.
Hence
Linking Words
, it consumes a lot of money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, finding money from the tickets would obviously
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 in
such
Linking Words
 instances. In
tge
Correct your spelling
the
 preseant days with
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 inflation rate which has
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 most countries around the world governments have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
budgets
into
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the archeological sector.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is the most suitable way to make an income which aids
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the sustainability of historical
places
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 historic
places
Use synonyms
posess
Correct your spelling
possess
 a cultural value which
grab
Change the verb form
grabs
show examples
 the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 wide
attemtion
Correct your spelling
attention
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it enhances the identity of a nation uniquely to the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is the utmost responsibility of the nation
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 improve and preserve the quality of historic
peices
Correct your spelling
pieces
places
 and
places
Use synonyms
. Leaving the public to
visit
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 without
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper guidance,
obseravtion
Correct your spelling
observation
observations
 and instructions may lead to ruin them.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 sigiriya pictures were ruined by an irresponsible culprit in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to the appointment of
security
Use synonyms
 guards 24 ×7.
Hence
Linking Words
, I believe that paying a reasonable amount
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best option to preserve them. In conclusion, though everyone has a right to view ancient artefacts and
places
Use synonyms
, to
visit
Use synonyms
 them each one should pay for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own sustainability and
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enhance the cultural values
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the world in the long run.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be sure to address all aspects of the task. You have provided some relevant points, but make sure to fully address the prompt and present a clear argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overall structure, and some ideas are presented in a disorganized manner. Use clear topic sentences and transition words to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Additionally, pay attention to word choice, as some words are incorrectly used and may affect the overall clarity of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors. Be mindful of subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and sentence structure. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy is essential.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: