IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that museums and historical places should be free of charge, while others think that visitors should pay to visit them. What is your opinion.

#people #museums #places #charge #visitors #visit
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Museums and ancient
places
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 reveal the staggering
hystorical
Correct your spelling
historical
 movements to the public who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
craved to know about the story behind the history. It is argued that visitors to
such
Linking Words
places
Use synonyms
 should not pay to
visit
Use synonyms
 them
while
Linking Words
 others assert that it has to be paid.
This
Linking Words
 essay
agrees
Add the preposition
agrees on
agrees to
agrees with
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 the latter as it provides an opportunity to enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sustainability and to uplift the
thougts
Correct your spelling
thoughts
 of cultural values amongst individuals. Charging a reasonable amount to
visit
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 a museum or an ancient place would definitely cater a path to cover
up
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apply
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the general maintenance cost of
such
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places
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. The buildings
which
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in which
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 exhibits are kept need to be in good condition.
Moreover
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, the staff allocated for the services
such
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 as management,
security
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 and cleaning
also
Linking Words
 to be paid.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 museums should have a proper
security
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 system
such
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 as
security
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 guards and
a
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apply
show examples
high tech
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high-tech
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24 hours
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24-hour
 surveillance cameras in order to protect these artefacts from relic hunters.
Hence
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, it consumes a lot of money.
Therefore
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, finding money from the tickets would obviously
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 in
such
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 instances. In
tge
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the
 preseant days with
high
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the high
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 inflation rate which has
effected
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affected
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 most countries around the world governments have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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failed to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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budgets
into
Change preposition
for
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 the archeological sector.
Thus
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, it is the most suitable way to make an income which aids
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the sustainability of historical
places
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.
In
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addition
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addition,
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 historic
places
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posess
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possess
 a cultural value which
grab
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grabs
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 the
word
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world
show examples
 wide
attemtion
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attention
.
Furthermore
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, it enhances the identity of a nation uniquely to the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is the utmost responsibility of the nation
ti
Correct your spelling
to
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 improve and preserve the quality of historic
peices
Correct your spelling
pieces
places
 and
places
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. Leaving the public to
visit
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such
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places
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 without
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper guidance,
obseravtion
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observation
observations
 and instructions may lead to ruin them.
For
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example
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example,
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 sigiriya pictures were ruined by an irresponsible culprit in recent
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 to the appointment of
security
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 guards 24 ×7.
Hence
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, I believe that paying a reasonable amount
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best option to preserve them. In conclusion, though everyone has a right to view ancient artefacts and
places
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, to
visit
Use synonyms
 them each one should pay for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own sustainability and
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
enhance the cultural values
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the world in the long run.
Submitted by himudu.hhpg on

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task response
Be sure to address all aspects of the task. You have provided some relevant points, but make sure to fully address the prompt and present a clear argument throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear overall structure, and some ideas are presented in a disorganized manner. Use clear topic sentences and transition words to improve the overall coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely. Additionally, pay attention to word choice, as some words are incorrectly used and may affect the overall clarity of the essay.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors. Be mindful of subject-verb agreement, use of articles, and sentence structure. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy is essential.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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