IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is common for people to travel long distance for work and study.some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss the both views and give ypur opinion.

#people #travel #distance #work #study #argue #times #ypur
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Even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 are very busy
within
Change preposition
with
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 their jobs
as well as
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 studies, they may experience a longer commute
time
Use synonyms
.some
people
Use synonyms
 state that travelling long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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 for work or study brings negative effects on them
while
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 others
holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
 the opposite idea.In my point of view, it depends on the outcome of one's career commitment.In
this
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 essay, both views will be analysed to draw a conclusion. On one hand, most
people
Use synonyms
struggling
Wrong verb form
struggle
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 to make their goals realistic despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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the challenges they face.
For example
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 , as good parenthood,
people
Use synonyms
 try to
attend
Verb problem
take
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 their children to school in cities rather than in
Correct article usage
the country
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country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
 in order to provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
student friendly
Add a hyphen
student-friendly
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 environment and better facilities for education.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 immigrate to town
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 for services like supermarkets, health care, shopping complexes and
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
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 libraries regardless
the
Change preposition
of the
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time
Use synonyms
 they consume to reach and return.
Moreover
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, individuals who
Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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their
Change preposition
about their
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carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
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, try to identify more trends than issues in their job field and promotions as well.
As a result
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,though the public spend long duration
in
Change preposition
apply
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travelling,they
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 better outcome for their commitment in return.
On the other hand
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,longer commute
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 cause more stress in
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, if
somone
Correct your spelling
someone
faced
Wrong verb form
faces
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 a traffic jam on the way to his job, he mentally struggles with the
time
Use synonyms
 taken to reach the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
This
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cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 him
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
emotional damage.As well, when returning home, everybody
wish
Change the verb form
wishes
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 to arrive early to their destination and women reschedule the rest of the day for
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
dutoes
Correct your spelling
duties
 and plans for tomorrow. If it takes much
time
Use synonyms
 to travel,
people
Use synonyms
 may get tired easily and
fedup
Correct your spelling
fed up
fed-up
 with household activities.
This
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 is an emotional burden.
To sum up
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, apart from the mental disturbances, most of the public manage all those tasks enthusiastically to achieve their goals.
Therefore
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, long commute times do not always negatively impact the community.
However
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, if the distribution of resources takes place with equal strength across society and if globalization positively affects rural areas as well, a better tomorrow will emerge.
Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic. Additionally, use relevant and specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing the ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Use appropriate transitions to connect the ideas and ensure that the introduction and conclusion are well-presented.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used in the essay. Also, pay attention to word choice and use academic language where appropriate.
grammatical range
Pay attention to the sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure that sentences are grammatically correct.
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