It is common for people to travel long distance for work and study.some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss the both views and give ypur opinion.

Even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
are very busy
within
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with
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their jobs
as well as
studies, they may experience a longer commute
time
.some
people
state that travelling long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
for work or study brings negative effects on them
while
others
holding
Wrong verb form
hold
show examples
the opposite idea.In my point of view, it depends on the outcome of one's career commitment.In
this
essay, both views will be analysed to draw a conclusion. On one hand, most
people
struggling
Wrong verb form
struggle
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to make their goals realistic despite
of
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apply
show examples
the challenges they face.
For example
, as good parenthood,
people
try to
attend
Verb problem
take
show examples
their children to school in cities rather than in
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the country
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country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
in order to provide them
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
student friendly
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student-friendly
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environment and better facilities for education.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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people
immigrate to town
area
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areas
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for services like supermarkets, health care, shopping complexes and
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
libraries regardless
the
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of the
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time
they consume to reach and return.
Moreover
, individuals who
Add a missing verb
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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their
Change preposition
about their
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carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
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, try to identify more trends than issues in their job field and promotions as well.
As a result
,though the public spend long duration
in
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apply
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travelling,they
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
better outcome for their commitment in return.
On the other hand
,longer commute
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
cause more stress in
people
.
For instance
, if
somone
Correct your spelling
someone
faced
Wrong verb form
faces
show examples
a traffic jam on the way to his job, he mentally struggles with the
time
taken to reach the
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
.
This
cause
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causes
show examples
him
an
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apply
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emotional damage.As well, when returning home, everybody
wish
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wishes
show examples
to arrive early to their destination and women reschedule the rest of the day for
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
dutoes
Correct your spelling
duties
and plans for tomorrow. If it takes much
time
to travel,
people
may get tired easily and
fedup
Correct your spelling
fed up
fed-up
with household activities.
This
is an emotional burden.
To sum up
, apart from the mental disturbances, most of the public manage all those tasks enthusiastically to achieve their goals.
Therefore
, long commute times do not always negatively impact the community.
However
, if the distribution of resources takes place with equal strength across society and if globalization positively affects rural areas as well, a better tomorrow will emerge.
Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic. Additionally, use relevant and specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing the ideas in a more logical and coherent manner. Use appropriate transitions to connect the ideas and ensure that the introduction and conclusion are well-presented.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used in the essay. Also, pay attention to word choice and use academic language where appropriate.
grammatical range
Pay attention to the sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure that sentences are grammatically correct.
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