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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions
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The table
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
Correct article usage
the date
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date
Correct your spelling
data
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about
Change preposition
on
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 underground
tailway
Correct your spelling
railway
 systems in six urban
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
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 which include
date
Correct article usage
the date
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 opened,
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of
route
Add an article
the route
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 and
visitors
Change noun form
visitors'
visitor's
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nembers
Correct your spelling
numbers
members
 per
year
Use synonyms
 in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, London
where
Correct word choice
which
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 has the oldest train system since 1863 has 775 million
passenger
Change to a plural noun
passengers
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. In
1900s
Correct article usage
the 1900s
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 century when Paris, Tokyo and
washington
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Washington
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 DC and Hyoto
implementd
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implemented
implement
 their railway systems which
is
Wrong verb form
were
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respectivly opned
Correct your spelling
respectively opened
 in 1900, 1927, 1976 and 1981.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Tokyo
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the most visitors
1927
Change preposition
in 1927
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which
Correct your spelling
with
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 only 155
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of routes
while
Linking Words
 Paris
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 199
Kilometres
Use synonyms
 of routes but 1191 passengers per
year
Use synonyms
. Washington DC,
however
Linking Words
, has 144 population yearly with 126
of
Change preposition
apply
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railway routes which is higher than Kyoto and Los Angeles.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Kyoto with only 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of
route
Add an article
the route
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 has just under 50
papulation
Correct your spelling
population
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 in a
year
Use synonyms
.
hence
Linking Words
, Los Angeles which has the newest train system with 28
kilometres
Use synonyms
 has one 50
passerngers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • underground railway system
  • chronologically
  • significance
  • correlation
  • discrepancies
  • outliers
  • extensive network
  • limited network
  • urban sprawl
  • efficiency
  • hypothesize
  • passenger numbers
  • kilometres of route
  • date opened
  • major cities
  • data analysis
  • comparative analysis
  • historical context
  • speculate
  • potential causes
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