It is common for people to travel long distance for work and study.some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss the both views and give ypur opinion.
Even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are very busy within
their jobs Change preposition
with
as well as
studies, they may experience a longer commute time
.some people
state that travelling long distance
for work or study brings negative effects on them Fix the agreement mistake
distances
while
others holding
the opposite idea.In my point of view, it depends on the outcome of one's career commitment.In Wrong verb form
hold
this
essay, both views will be analysed to draw a conclusion.
On one hand, most people
struggling
to make their goals realistic despite Wrong verb form
struggle
of
the challenges they face.Change preposition
apply
For example
, as good parenthood, people
try to attend
their children to school in cities rather than in Verb problem
take
Correct article usage
the country
country side
in order to provide themCorrect your spelling
countryside
a
Add the preposition
with a
student friendly
environment and better facilities for education.Add a hyphen
student-friendly
Also
Add a comma
Also,
people
immigrate to town area
for services like supermarkets, health care, shopping complexes and Fix the agreement mistake
areas
pubic
libraries regardless Correct your spelling
public
the
Change preposition
of the
time
they consume to reach and return.Moreover
, individuals who Add a missing verb
are concern
concern
Replace the word
concerned
their
Change preposition
about their
carrier
, try to identify more trends than issues in their job field and promotions as well.Correct your spelling
careers
As a result
,though the public spend long duration in
travelling,they Change preposition
apply
recieve
better outcome for their commitment in return.
Correct your spelling
receive
On the other hand
,longer commute time
cause more stress in Fix the agreement mistake
times
people
.For instance
, if somone
Correct your spelling
someone
faced
a traffic jam on the way to his job, he mentally struggles with the Wrong verb form
faces
time
taken to reach the work place
.Correct your spelling
workplace
This
cause
him Change the verb form
causes
an
emotional damage.As well, when returning home, everybodyRemove the article
apply
wish
to arrive early to their destination and women reschedule the rest of the day for Change the verb form
wishes
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
dutoes
and plans for tomorrow. If it takes much Correct your spelling
duties
time
to travel, people
may get tired easily and fedup
with household activities.Correct your spelling
fed up
fed-up
This
is an emotional burden.
To sum up
, apart from the mental disturbances, most of the public manage all those tasks enthusiastically to achieve their goals.Therefore
, long commute times do not always negatively impact the community. However
, if the distribution of resources takes place with equal strength across society and if globalization positively affects rural areas as well, a better tomorrow will emerge.Submitted by udesudeshikakalpani11 on
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Task Response
Provide a more balanced discussion of the two views and clearly state your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Add more clear and structured introduction and conclusion to the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and ensure it is used accurately.
Grammatical Range
Work on the accuracy of sentence structures and improve the variety of sentence types used.
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