IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #companies #factories #employees #countryside
Nowadays, urban cities are facing a massive challenge; the increasing population in the city, which has caused
traffic
 and housing
problems
. In today’s society, these issues are a subject of ongoing debate.
While
 some argue that relocating big companies, factories, and their staff to a rural area will cost a lot,
however
, I believe it would be the most effective answer.
This
 essay will examine the benefits in the long term,
such
 as less
traffic
 congestion in cities, helping employees to alleviate housing
problems
 and stimulating economic development in rural
areas
.
While
 it Is true that some may argue that relocation needs a huge budget, it is important to consider for the long term. The urban population will significantly decrease if firms and their facilities move to the countryside because prosperous corporations like Tesla and Apple need to employ thousands of people.
As a result
, not only does
this
 affect
traffic
 congestion, but it
also
 contributes to a declining population.
For instance
, in Jakarta, the majority of the workers go to work in a private vehicle which leads to
traffic
 congestion during the rush hour.
This
 won’t be the case if large corporations have offices in rural
areas
 and provide housing for their staff members at their places of employment.
In addition
, in the long run, migration staff will give other benefits to local citizens in economic, with providing basic needs and opening a grocery store near the company. the locals will get new income which increases the financial situation in
this
 area.
Moreover
, to minimize housing
problems
 in urban
areas
, there should be new housing development in both; the city and countryside
areas
.
To sum up
, it is evident that transferring huge companies and manufacturers to the suburban area will diminish the
problems
 in the urban cities in the long term.
Submitted by jessicayoris on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are logically organized within the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide a more thorough consideration of the advantages and disadvantages of relocating companies to the countryside. Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt in a balanced manner.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and demonstrate more precision in word choice and expression.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure variety and accuracy to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • housing problems
  • countryside
  • large companies
  • factories
  • employees
  • urban areas
  • land availability
  • relocate
  • stimulate economic development
  • challenges
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • rural areas
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