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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study. Some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #travel #distances #work #study #argue #times
We live in
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
show examples
 age and have different gadgets. Many special programs and some technologies support us and make our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 easier every day in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
different parts like cooking, conversations,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
important or funny things. Education and acquisition of knowledge are not exceptions. People spend a lot of
time
 and power
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
, because they should visit libraries and
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 needed books. But now we have more advantages that computers are becoming an essential part of education. We can find all
information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all topics in the
world
 from
game’s
Correct article usage
the game’s
show examples
 roles to scientific chemistry, which we need. We can find it fast and without
come
Change the verb form
coming
show examples
 outside a house.
Also
, students in the
world
 spend
little
Correct word choice
less
show examples
time
 than before
to create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
 their student projects,
presentations
Correct word choice
and presentations
show examples
 or
to write
Change the verb form
writing
show examples
 notes,
articles
Correct word choice
and articles
show examples
. But, unfortunately, among many advantages presents some disadvantages. People remember something new more
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
, because we can
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
 find it.
This
 phenomenon has explained
psychologists
Change preposition
to psychologists
show examples
:
we
Correct word choice
that we
show examples
 value
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things less, when we can
easier to
Rephrase
easily
show examples
 get
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. The second famous disadvantage is now we live in
age
Add an article
an age
the age
show examples
 of available
information
. And
this
 different
information
 around us everywhere. It
distract
Change the verb form
distracts
show examples
 us, to
make
Verb problem
causes
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
troubles when we
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
ours
Correct the word
our
show examples
 projects. We should spend more
time
 and make more efforts to
concentration
Replace the word
concentrate
show examples
.
For
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion all computer technologies,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
programs and gadgets have more profit,
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 damage. Today people have access to all
information
 and knowledge in the
world
, wherever they are. It allows them to get an education without
spend
Change the verb form
spending
show examples
 much money or
time
. And someone in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 country or family can get some
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
 and work, which will change his/her life. And maybe he/she will become a famous scientist who
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
the big
show examples
 project, which will change
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
world
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task response
Ensure that the main points are substantiated with relevant examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting the ideas more coherently throughout the essay to enhance the overall structure.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to better express ideas and arguments.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, aiming for more accuracy and complexity in expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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