IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is common for people to travel long distances for work and study. Some argue that longer commute times affect people in a negative way while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #travel #distances #work #study #argue #times
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We live in
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
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 age and have different gadgets. Many special programs and some technologies support us and make our
live
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lives
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 easier every day in
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
different parts like cooking, conversations,
Correct word choice
and
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important or funny things. Education and acquisition of knowledge are not exceptions. People spend a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 and power
at
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in
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
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, because they should visit libraries and
found
Wrong verb form
find
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 needed books. But now we have more advantages that computers are becoming an essential part of education. We can find all
information
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all topics in the
world
Use synonyms
 from
game’s
Correct article usage
the game’s
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 roles to scientific chemistry, which we need. We can find it fast and without
come
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coming
show examples
 outside a house.
Also
Linking Words
, students in the
world
Use synonyms
 spend
little
Correct word choice
less
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time
Use synonyms
 than before
to create
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creating
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 their student projects,
presentations
Correct word choice
and presentations
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 or
to write
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writing
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 notes,
articles
Correct word choice
and articles
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. But, unfortunately, among many advantages presents some disadvantages. People remember something new more
hardly
Change the word
hard
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, because we can
easy
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easily
show examples
 find it.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon has explained
psychologists
Change preposition
to psychologists
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:
we
Correct word choice
that we
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 value
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things less, when we can
easier to
Rephrase
easily
show examples
 get
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. The second famous disadvantage is now we live in
age
Add an article
an age
the age
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 of available
information
Use synonyms
. And
this
Linking Words
 different
information
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 around us everywhere. It
distract
Change the verb form
distracts
show examples
 us, to
make
Verb problem
causes
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
troubles when we
working
Wrong verb form
work
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
ours
Correct the word
our
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 projects. We should spend more
time
Use synonyms
 and make more efforts to
concentration
Replace the word
concentrate
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.
For
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion all computer technologies,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
programs and gadgets have more profit,
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 damage. Today people have access to all
information
Use synonyms
 and knowledge in the
world
Use synonyms
, wherever they are. It allows them to get an education without
spend
Change the verb form
spending
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 much money or
time
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. And someone in
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
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 country or family can get some
specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
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 and work, which will change his/her life. And maybe he/she will become a famous scientist who
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
the big
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 project, which will change
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
world
Use synonyms
.
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task response
Ensure that the main points are substantiated with relevant examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting the ideas more coherently throughout the essay to enhance the overall structure.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to better express ideas and arguments.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, aiming for more accuracy and complexity in expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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