In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many societies, some advocates argue that it is vital to invest a considerable amount of
money
in expanding new railway routes for bullet trains between urban.
While
the majority of people strongly believe that the government's budget ought to
spent
Add a missing verb
be spent
show examples
on
enhancement
Correct article usage
the enhancement
show examples
of
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
public
transportation
system
. I personally hold
this
view that they should concentrate on the current railways structure
due to
being
nations
Replace the word
national
show examples
daily basis and being cheaper. A number of nations firmly believe that improvement
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
current
system
is much more useful because they are using
regularly
Correct pronoun usage
it regularly
show examples
.
In other words
, all walks of life use trains every day
as a result
it is important to have access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
facilitated public
transportation
which increases their tendency.
For instance
, bullet trains in Japan have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
considerable number of passengers who are willing to use
this
system
because of the high quality that it has.
In addition
, to folks' daily
needs
Add a comma
needs,
show examples
I strongly believe that maintaining the existing
transportation
system
would be economical. To clarify, it is more reasonable for societies to enhance them in comparison to expanding
this
system
to other urban areas.
Consequently
, they have
this
opportunity to use their budget wisely.
However
, some may claim that it is necessary to spend
money
on constructing new routes to other cities. They argue that it is important to have accessibility to other cities
as a result
people can travel easier and faster.
However
,
this
notion is simply overlooked and they did not pay attention to burning
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
budget
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
something which is not society's basic need.
To sum up
,
while
some proponents have
this
assumption that it is necessary to spend
money
in order to expand the railway
system
, a number of people and I strongly believe that it is better
used
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
that
money
for maintaining and enhancement in the current
transportation
system
because it is cheaper and being part of folk's daily needs.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the essay prompt. Make sure to clearly present your position and provide well-developed arguments to support it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay to better connect ideas and arguments. Use linking words and transitions to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate language to express your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: