IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
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In many societies, some advocates argue that it is vital to invest a considerable amount of
money
Use synonyms
 in expanding new railway routes for bullet trains between urban.
While
Linking Words
 the majority of people strongly believe that the government's budget ought to
spent
Add a missing verb
be spent
show examples
 on
enhancement
Correct article usage
the enhancement
show examples
 of
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
 public
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
. I personally hold
this
Linking Words
 view that they should concentrate on the current railways structure
due to
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 being
nations
Replace the word
national
show examples
 daily basis and being cheaper. A number of nations firmly believe that improvement
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 current
system
Use synonyms
 is much more useful because they are using
regularly
Correct pronoun usage
it regularly
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, all walks of life use trains every day
as a result
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 it is important to have access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
facilitated public
transportation
Use synonyms
 which increases their tendency.
For instance
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, bullet trains in Japan have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 considerable number of passengers who are willing to use
this
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
 because of the high quality that it has.
In addition
Linking Words
, to folks' daily
needs
Add a comma
needs,
show examples
 I strongly believe that maintaining the existing
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 would be economical. To clarify, it is more reasonable for societies to enhance them in comparison to expanding
this
Linking Words
system
Use synonyms
 to other urban areas.
Consequently
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, they have
this
Linking Words
 opportunity to use their budget wisely.
However
Linking Words
, some may claim that it is necessary to spend
money
Use synonyms
 on constructing new routes to other cities. They argue that it is important to have accessibility to other cities
as a result
Linking Words
 people can travel easier and faster.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 notion is simply overlooked and they did not pay attention to burning
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 budget
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 something which is not society's basic need.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 some proponents have
this
Linking Words
 assumption that it is necessary to spend
money
Use synonyms
 in order to expand the railway
system
Use synonyms
, a number of people and I strongly believe that it is better
used
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
 that
money
Use synonyms
 for maintaining and enhancement in the current
transportation
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 because it is cheaper and being part of folk's daily needs.
Submitted by mirhashemim7 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you fully address all aspects of the essay prompt. Make sure to clearly present your position and provide well-developed arguments to support it.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate language to express your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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