Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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In contemporary societies, owing to advanced technology, there is an increasing number of illegal copies of
music
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on the Internet, causing
a
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severe danger to the musical
industry
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and needing prevention.
This
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essay firmly agrees that illegal
music
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websites should be prevented on account of the destruction of the value of
music
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and their adverse influence on economic growth. It is vital to acknowledge that, paralleling the increase in illegal
music
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, the meaning of songs or any other
music
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-related factors will be damaged.
In other words
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, when
music
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is readily available for free through illegal sites, it undermines the perceived value of creative content.
Furthermore
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, more and more people would love downloading or listening to
music
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that was released illegally with the purpose of relaxation rather than the recognition of the musical talent of composers if
music
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was available online.
For
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this
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reason, musicians are tired of creating
music
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due to
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the fact that there is no meaning in composing
music
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for communities, leading to the loss of talented composers and overwhelming songs, and
thus
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,
this
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could endanger the entire
music
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industry
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and musical occupations. Another component worth considering is that neglecting the development of illegal
music
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online can have a negative impact on the national economy.
This
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is because consumers may become accustomed to accessing
music
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without paying for it, making it more challenging for artists to monetize their work through legitimate channels.
In addition
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, not only do governments lose an immense amount of tax from those who are composers, but there is
also
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no improvement in government funding based on the tax revenue.
As a consequence
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, the loss of revenue not only impacts the
industry
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's ability to invest in new talent, studio equipment, and others
,
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but the internal economy cannot be properly enhanced as well.
Hence
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, it is not difficult to understand why illegal copying of
music
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can threaten the development and existence of the
music
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industry
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.
Thus
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, the diminishing value of
music
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and the domestic economy's concerns need to be noticed.
Therefore
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, it should have been demonstrated that it is
favorable
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favourable
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to prevent and prohibit illegal
music
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sites online to protect the
music
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industry
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effectively.
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but ensuring your introduction states your stance more explicitly could strengthen it. For a higher score, slightly tweak it to give a more distinct preview of your main points.
relevant specific examples
While your main points are well-supported, they could benefit from more specific, concrete examples. Consider including case studies or real-world events that illustrate your points.
complete response
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both how illegal music sites harm the industry and why they should be prevented effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
You successfully maintain clear, comprehensive ideas throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.
logical structure
Your essay is logically structured with well-supported main points. This helps in presenting a coherent argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual property
  • piracy
  • copyright infringement
  • revenue loss
  • digital rights management (DRM)
  • streaming platforms
  • illegal downloads
  • file sharing
  • economic impact
  • ethical considerations
  • music royalties
  • legislation
  • consumer ethics
  • affordable alternatives
  • music industry sustainability
  • emerging artists
  • legitimate sources
  • pirated content
  • distribution platforms
  • technological countermeasures
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