Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects

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this

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day and age,

people

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must face many health problems on a daily basis. Among them,

obesity

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is the headed topic.

This

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essay will clarify the roots and negative influence of

this

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issue.

To begin

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with, there are many reasons that lead to

obesity

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. One of the main roots is the change in the eating habit. In the past,

people

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usually prepared meals at home full of nutrients.

However

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, in

this

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period,

people

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are so busy, they often spend 12 hours a day at work. Workers do not have much time to cook at home.

Hence

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, plenty of

people

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choose to buy fast food,

such

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as: hamburgers, kfc,…

This

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food often contains high sugar and fat which leads to lost control weight. Bad eating habits have a negative effect on

people

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's health. It increases risk of diseases

such

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as: hyperlipidemia, diabetes type 2,…

Besides

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, the development of technology is a source of

obesity

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. After time stress for work,

people

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often find a way to relax like online games or TV programs. All things which lead to a reduced active body in humans. Calories intake is higher than calories output.

That is

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the reason why weight increases quickly.

However

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, lack of exercise will cause

people

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to suffer from muscle and joint diseases

such

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as pain or osteoarthritis.

As a result

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people

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with

obesity

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are at higher risk of other diseases than

people

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without

obesity

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. Patients will

also

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have low self-esteem about themselves and their appearance, making life difficult for them. In conclusion, there are two main roots that lead to

obesity

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are change the eating habit and the development of technology. Overweight make a person susceptible to myriad of health issues and lost confidence in life.

Submitted by teachingqa272 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Task Response

Task response: The essay partially addresses the causes and effects of childhood obesity. There is a need to develop the points more fully and provide a clear stance on the issue.

Coherence and Cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat coherent, but the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The supported main points need more development and organization to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

Lexical resource: The essay demonstrates a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing that affect clarity and precision. More varied and appropriate vocabulary is needed.

Grammatical Range

Grammatical range: The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are frequent errors in sentence structure, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement. More grammatical accuracy and complexity is required.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

286 words

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Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays traffic congestion is a major issue.What do you think of this problem and what measures can be taken?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learining a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that a person should change a career at least once, while others think that it is better to stay in one job for a lifetime. What is your opinion?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Educating young people is naturally important, However, some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?