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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#adults #sports #area #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the information about the number of mature people attending
in
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apply
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6 sports, including tennis, basketball,
cricket
Use synonyms
, golf, swimming, football and rugby in the
years
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 1997 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, all the
sport
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sports
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 categories
which
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in which
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 adults
participating rise
Wrong verb form
participated rose
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 from 1997 to 2017, except
cricket
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dropped, and swimming remained stable. Tennis was the most selected by adults,
whist
Correct your spelling
whilst
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 basketball and
cricket
Use synonyms
 were
least
Correct article usage
the least
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. In 2019, 50,000 adults
joining
Wrong verb form
joined
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 in tennis before increasing to around 55,000. In terms of golf,
this
Linking Words
 had the smallest change between 2
years
Use synonyms
 which grew
approximately
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by approximately
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 2,000 from around 30,000 people in 1997,
while
Linking Words
 football and rugby seem the largest increase from just above 30,000 to slightly below 50,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, basketball players in 2017
was
Change the verb form
were
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 around 20,000 which was 2 times greater than in 1997.
However
Linking Words
,
cricket
Use synonyms
 had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease trend that significantly dropped from 25,000 to 8,000 within 20
years
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 35,000 mature people preferred
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
swimming which remained unaltered in these 2
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by fah on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cricket, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rate
  • increase/decrease in numbers
  • trend
  • decade
  • relatively stable
  • major sports
  • potential reasons
  • contributing factors
  • public interest
  • comparison
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