The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

The advent of portable electronic

devices

has revolutionized the way

individuals

engage with entertainment, particularly through the widespread popularity of electronic

games

While

some argue that the availability of

such

entertainment is harmful to

individuals

and the societies they inhabit, I contend that the impact is multifaceted , with both positive and negative aspects. Body Paragraph 1: On the negative side, the accessibility of electronic

games

on portable

devices

has led to concerns about addiction. The continuous rewards and immersive nature of these

games

can divert

individuals

from their responsibilities, be it in the workplace or academic settings.

This

can result in a neglect of duties.

Moreover

, the excessive screen time associated with playing electronic

games

on portable

devices

raises

health

concerns. Prolonged exposure to screens can lead to issues

such

as eye strain, disrupted sleep patterns, and even more severe complications.

This

not only impacts individual

health

but

also

contributes to the growing public

health

burden. Despite these drawbacks, it is essential to acknowledge the positive aspects of portable electronic

games

. The intricate challenges presented in these

games

contribute to cognitive development, requiring players to strategize and problem-solve.

Additionally

, the online platforms foster cultural exchange, allowing

individuals

from diverse backgrounds to connect and share experiences, promoting

global

Correct article usage

a global

show examples

community.

Furthermore

, for some

individuals

, electronic

games

serve as a valuable stress-relief mechanism. In the face of mounting pressures in both professional and academic spheres , the escapism provided by these

games

can be therapeutic.

This

aspect highlights the potential for positive mental

health

outcomes associated with the clever use of portable electronic

games

. In conclusion, the impact of playing electronic

games

on portable

devices

is complex, encompassing both detrimental and beneficial aspects.

While

concerns about addiction, and

health

issues are valid, the cognitive benefits, cultural exchange, and stress relief offered by these

games

should not be overlooked.

Submitted by vivian901014 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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task response

Ensure that all points are addressed thoroughly and balanced representation of ideas is provided.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is good, ensure that the connection between ideas is maintained consistently throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and transition phrases to enhance the lexical resource of the essay.

grammatical range

Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures to improve grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries today children begin learning a foreign language before entering primary school. What are the reasons for this? At what age should children begin to learn a foreign language?

Write about the following topic: Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.