The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

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The advent of portable electronic

devices

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has revolutionized the way

individuals

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engage with entertainment, particularly through the widespread popularity of electronic

games

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While

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some argue that the availability of

such

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entertainment is harmful to

individuals

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and the societies they inhabit, I contend that the impact is multifaceted , with both positive and negative aspects. Body Paragraph 1: On the negative side, the accessibility of electronic

games

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on portable

devices

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has led to concerns about addiction. The continuous rewards and immersive nature of these

games

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can divert

individuals

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from their responsibilities, be it in the workplace or academic settings.

This

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can result in a neglect of duties.

Moreover

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, the excessive screen time associated with playing electronic

games

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on portable

devices

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raises

health

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concerns. Prolonged exposure to screens can lead to issues

such

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as eye strain, disrupted sleep patterns, and even more severe complications.

This

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not only impacts individual

health

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but

also

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contributes to the growing public

health

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burden. Despite these drawbacks, it is essential to acknowledge the positive aspects of portable electronic

games

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. The intricate challenges presented in these

games

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contribute to cognitive development, requiring players to strategize and problem-solve.

Additionally

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, the online platforms foster cultural exchange, allowing

individuals

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from diverse backgrounds to connect and share experiences, promoting

global

Correct article usage

a global

show examples

community.

Furthermore

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, for some

individuals

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, electronic

games

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serve as a valuable stress-relief mechanism. In the face of mounting pressures in both professional and academic spheres , the escapism provided by these

games

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can be therapeutic.

This

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aspect highlights the potential for positive mental

health

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outcomes associated with the clever use of portable electronic

games

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. In conclusion, the impact of playing electronic

games

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on portable

devices

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is complex, encompassing both detrimental and beneficial aspects.

While

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concerns about addiction, and

health

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issues are valid, the cognitive benefits, cultural exchange, and stress relief offered by these

games

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should not be overlooked.

Submitted by vivian901014 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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task response

Ensure that all points are addressed thoroughly and balanced representation of ideas is provided.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is good, ensure that the connection between ideas is maintained consistently throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and transition phrases to enhance the lexical resource of the essay.

grammatical range

Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures to improve grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.