IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is more important for a building to serve purpose than look beautiful , architectures should not worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?

#purpose #architectures #work #art
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It is argued that It is more crucial for a building to serve a
purpose
Use synonyms
 than
look
Fix the infinitive
to look
show examples
georgous
Correct your spelling
gorgeous
,
therefore
Linking Words
Use synonyms
architectures
Replace the word
architects
show examples
 should not worry about producing a building as a work of art. From my point of view, both look and comfort
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 vital but I do not agree that
Use synonyms
architectures'
Change noun form
architecture's
show examples
 only goal should be serving a
purpose
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days the number of buildings
increases
Wrong verb form
is increasing
show examples
 and there is no denying
fact
Correct article usage
the fact
show examples
 that for the
majority
Use synonyms
 of people look plays a huge role.
For example
Linking Words
, the
majority
Use synonyms
 of people when they have to purchase or rent a house first of all they look at the building and if they do not like the building they just do not desire to look inside the Building.
For instance
Linking Words
, roughly 2 years ago my brother decided to buy a house but its design was not beautiful and he
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed his mind,
consequently
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
show examples
 should worry about
building's
Correct article usage
the building's
show examples
 look.
Secondly
Linking Words
, today tourism is very common and annually the number of tourists increases, the
majority
Use synonyms
 of tourists appreciate the work of art and they travel to see that.
For instance
Linking Words
, many individuals from all around the world go to New York
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 the architecture of the city and if the
architectures
Use synonyms
 only worried about serving
purpose
Use synonyms
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 producing a building as a work of art the number of tourists undoubtedly would be lower. In conclusion,
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
show examples
 I reckon that both look and comfort are essential,
however
Linking Words
, I do not agree that
Use synonyms
architectures'
Change noun form
architecture's
show examples
 only goal should be serving a
purpose
Use synonyms
, look plays a huge role for the
majority
Use synonyms
 of people,
Linking Words
consequently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
architectures
Fix the agreement mistake
architecture
show examples
 should worry about building's look.
Submitted by lilit_margaryan2006 on

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task response
Ensure that the arguments and examples provided are directly related to the topic and properly support your stance. Avoid repetition and stay focused on the task at hand.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear purpose and flows logically from one point to the next. Also, pay attention to your introduction and conclusion to make sure they effectively frame your essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions to convey your ideas. Also, pay attention to collocations and word choice to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure, punctuation, and accuracy to eliminate errors and improve the grammatical range. Also, aim for a more varied and sophisticated use of grammar structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Functionality
  • Utilitarian
  • Practicality
  • Function
  • Purpose
  • Aesthetics
  • Artistic value
  • Design
  • Architectural
  • Harmony
  • Visual appeal
  • Form follows function
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Balance
What to do next:
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