Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students about the danger of crime committing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that several convicts who have been in prison for a
while
are good citizens now and, they are a good choice to talk to pupils about
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
. I personally partially agree with
this
statement and I guess
this
activity might be beneficial or dangerous. In
this
essay, I will argue my opinion. In my point of view, it is a good idea that
children
are informed about crimes and their consequences on their lives and communication, and who is better than a person who has committed infringements before and now has a reliable character to advise and admit his regret? Their stories can have a stronger impact on youngsters than theoretical lessons. Students can be aware that if they step into these dangerous groups, they will lose numerous precious individuals in their lives.
For example
, they aren'
t
endorsed on their family and friend's behalf emotionally and monetary.
In addition
, they constantly encounter dangerous issues and threats, so that, they can'
t
sleep in peace of mind.
Finally
, they can explain how
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
stray
children
from their aims and if they immerse themselves in crimes, they won'
t
be able to find a way to rescue themselves and their whole lives will be ruined.
On the other hand
, I believe that we should consider the potential effects and subsequent of these methods,
however
, schools should be cautious about someone that they want to invite to talk. Because some of the former prisoners are still a band and it is their trick to go to schools and seduce
children
.
For instance
, they can give a number of information about the student's address and parents and burglar their possessions.
Therefore
, it is difficult to find an accurate person. In conclusion, undoubtedly, debate about criminals at schools is beneficial but teachers need to ensure that who they intend to invite and give a speech, a person doesn'
t
lead to serious problems for
children
.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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structure
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential elements of the task. Consider adding a distinct opening paragraph that outlines the topic and a closing paragraph that summarizes the main points and your stance.
cohesion
Ensure that the ideas are logically organized and use cohesive devices appropriately to improve the flow of the essay. Moreover, there's a need to transition smoothly between paragraphs, focusing on establishing clear connections between the main points.
development
Expand on the ideas presented with more specific examples. The inclusion of detailed examples can help in demonstrating the understanding of the topic and strengthen the argument.
relevance
Make sure to directly address the essay prompt in both your introduction and conclusion to ensure a complete response to the question asked. Each paragraph should also clearly tie back to the central topic.
planning
The coherence could be improved by more carefully planning the structure of your essay before writing. This will help with the logical flow and ensure that each paragraph builds upon the previous one.
balance
Address both sides of the argument thoroughly to fulfill the task achievement requirements. This includes covering the potential risks and benefits of having former prisoners talk to students about crime with equal depth.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • redemption
  • real-life experiences
  • perspectives
  • consequences
  • impact
  • practical guidance
  • criminal activities
  • root causes
  • prevention
  • misconceptions
  • stereotypes
  • second chances
  • personal transformation
  • empathy
  • forgiveness
  • support
  • rehabilitation process
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