IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students about the danger of crime committing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that several convicts who have been in prison for a
while
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 are good citizens now and, they are a good choice to talk to pupils about offences. I personally partially agree with
this
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 statement and I guess
this
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 activity might be beneficial or dangerous. In
this
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 essay, I will argue my opinion. In my point of view, it is a good idea that
children
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 are informed about crimes and their consequences on their lives and communication, and who is better than a
person
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 who has committed infringements before and now is a reliable character to advise? Students can be aware that if they step into these dangerous groups, they will lose numerous precious individuals in their lives.
For example
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, they aren'
t
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 endorsed on their family and friend's behalf emotionally and monetary.
In addition
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, they constantly encounter hazard issues and threats, so that, they can'
t
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 sleep in peace of mind.
Finally
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, they can explain how offences stray
children
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 from their aims and if they immerse themselves in crimes, they won'
t
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 be able to find a way to rescue themselves and their whole lives will be ruined.
On the other hand
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, I believe that we should consider the potential effects and subsequent of these methods,
however
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, schools should be cautious about a
person
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 that they want to invite to talk. Because some of them are still a band and it is their trick to go to schools and seduce
children
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.
For instance
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, they can give some information about the student's address and parents and burglar their possessions.
Therefore
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, it is difficult to find an accurate
person
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. In conclusion, undoubtedly, debate about criminals at schools is beneficial but teachers need to ensure that who they intend to invite and give a speech, a
person
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 doesn'
t
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 lead to serious problems for
children
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.

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task response
Make sure to fully address the prompt and present a clear stance. Provide a more balanced argument that fully addresses both sides of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure an introduction that introduces the topic and presents the main points, and a conclusion that summarizes the key arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise expressions. Avoid repetition and strive for more sophisticated and precise word choices.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence formation to improve clarity and coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • redemption
  • real-life experiences
  • perspectives
  • consequences
  • impact
  • practical guidance
  • criminal activities
  • root causes
  • prevention
  • misconceptions
  • stereotypes
  • second chances
  • personal transformation
  • empathy
  • forgiveness
  • support
  • rehabilitation process
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