IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Students learn far more with their teachers than other sources (internet or television). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #teachers #sources #internet #television
Whether teachers have played a major part in
students
' sources of
knowledge
 has triggered spirited debate. Some assert that
students
 learn more from the teachers compared with the
internet
 or television. Personally, I fundamentally disagree with
this
 assertion for three reasons. Primarily, studying by using the
internet
 certainly is more attractive compared with educator's word of mouth, as a variety of online learning platforms provide numerous presentation ways for professional
knowledge
,
such
 as funny videos, cartoons, music, pictures, and films.
For example
, cartoons with light
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 are easy to caught kindergarteners' eyes in a learning context.
Therefore
, better attraction has become the first reason why the younger prefers other sources to study. 
Similarly
, using an online website to study, is a convenient method, since it gets rid of the limitation of time and space.
For example
,
students
 can learn anything during the commute period by watching social media;
hence
, there is no doubt that online learning has become a popular trend recently.
As well as
 online learning is more effective for learners to expand their outlooks.
This
 is because the
internet
 is a crucial platform that collects abundant pieces of
knowledge
 around the world.
Moreover
, it can help
students
 to know more opinions from different views, so if
students
 prefer to use the
internet
 or television to learn, these people have more chances to learn more. In summary, based on these major benefits of using other resources (eg.,
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, television), including attraction, whenever and wherever for learning, and rich
knowledge
, I totally disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 statement that an increasing number of
students
 would like to learn from teachers.
Submitted by lyutingting520 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay directly responds to the prompt in a clear, comprehensive manner. Develop your ideas with clear and relevant examples to promote a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical flow and organization. Work on developing a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively.
lexical resource
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, but some words may be used inappropriately or inaccurately. Work on precision in word choice to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range
You have a good range of grammatical structures, but there are instances of errors in verb tense and word usage. Ensure consistent and accurate use of grammar throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: