Children nowadays are experiencing health issues, which were previously believed to be exclusive to adults. Obesity, a significant health problem, is widespread among young individuals. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
At present,
obesity
is one of the major health Use synonyms
challenge
to adolescents, Change to a plural noun
challenges
moreover
, in the past decades people thought thatLinking Words
,
that disease Remove the comma
apply
it's
only for adulthood.Verb problem
was
However
, personally, I believe that children become obese Linking Words
due to
eating sugary and fast foods and Linking Words
government
should impose clear restrictions Correct article usage
the government
of
not allowing humans to eat Change preposition
on
such
food.
First of all, Linking Words
young
generation is the Add an article
the young
a young
most
age group who is in danger Fix the agreement mistake
apply
to
Change preposition
of
obesity
, because some of them, Use synonyms
they
don't have time to prepare food at their homesteads because of studies. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Hence
, they prefer to buy fast foods during break and lunch time and even super which can cause sickness in their lives.An example to illustrate, that would be my fellow colleagues, they order Linking Words
McDonalds
at least twice Change noun form
Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
in
a day and two of them have big Change preposition
apply
tummy
which shows that they are obese.To avoid Fix the agreement mistake
tummies
this
,the state must increase taxes and Linking Words
price
in restaurants Fix the agreement mistake
prices
such
as Burger Linking Words
Kings
and KFC to reduce Fix the agreement mistake
King
spreading
of Correct article usage
the spreading
obesity
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
unfortunately
their prices are cheaper than that for traditional meals
To add on,recently children are Add a comma
unfortunately,
also
growing up eating sweet snacks, Linking Words
for
Linking Words
example
chocolates,sweets and drinking cola which can give rise to diabetic illness.Add a comma
example,
Furthermore
, Linking Words
for instance
, our neighbour's daughter, Linking Words
she
is sixteen old, Correct pronoun usage
apply
when
she is crying her mother will give her Correct word choice
and when
lolpop
to stop her weeping, Correct your spelling
lollipop
lollypop
therefore
, the life of young society is at risk of sugary diseases.Parents should educate their toddlers without fear, for them to take healthy and traditional eatables and be aware of side effects in the long run.
Linking Words
To conclude
, I believe that young individuals , nowadays are experiencing Linking Words
obesity
problems which were for adults in the past, Use synonyms
therefore
, Linking Words
this
is Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
lack
of knowledge and they Correct article usage
a lack
are
ought to Unnecessary verb
apply
changing
eating habits.Wrong verb form
change their
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task response
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coherence cohesion
Develop your ideas logically and coherently
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use appropriate words
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and grammatical forms
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.