IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is sometimes argued that earning money is the only motivation for people to work hard.
While
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 I disagree with the idea that
this
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 is the only reason, I do believe that salary is an important part of motivating people to be determined. On the one hand, there are several reasons why I would argue against earning a wage as the only factor. First of all, individuals are motivated by diverse factors,
such
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 as personal fulfilment, personal interest and social interaction. By
this
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, I mean that many individuals find satisfaction and a strong sense of accomplishment in their profession.
For example
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, some who are deeply in love with music, despite the challenges and the demanding nature of the music industry,
this
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 person is motivated by their passion.
Secondly
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, some often choose careers based on their interests and passions, the joy derived from engaging in activities one loves can be a strong driver for hard work.
Finally
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, the workplace provides a social environment to build relationships and connect with others. The social aspect of the workplace can be a significant motivator for some individuals.
On the other hand
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, earning a wage is a primary reason for people working hard. The main basis is probably to meet the basic needs of life,
such
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 as shelter, food, healthcare and education. It is very essential to survive and maintain a decent standard of living. The second fundamental reason is that some want to build financial security for themselves and their families. Having money would cover emergency expenses and long-term planning, including retirement planning without fear of running out.
Lastly
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, earning a salary is often associated with improving quality of life, allowing some to afford better healthcare, leisure activities, and
overall
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 well-being. In conclusion, I do believe that money is not the only motivator boosting a person to work hard, it
also
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 depends on diverse factors, including personal fulfilment, interests and social interaction.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main arguments of the essay. The conclusion should provide a summary of the key points and a definitive stance on the topic.
task achievement
Make sure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the main points being made and offer comprehensive support for the argument. Consider providing specific scenarios or case studies to illustrate the points effectively.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used to express ideas and concepts. Consider using a wider variety of synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and phrasal verbs to enrich the lexical resource.
grammatical range and accuracy
Work on using a more varied range of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and fluency of the essay. Aim to demonstrate precise control of both simple and complex grammatical structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Monetary gain
  • Passion-driven
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Career progression
  • Professional development
  • Work-life balance
  • Job satisfaction
  • Societal expectations
  • Cultural values
  • Altruism
  • Positive impact
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Internal rewards
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Psychological aspects
  • Motivational factors
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