In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it ?

#countries #crime #rates #teenagers #age #groups

Nowadays,

Correct article usage

the

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level of crime among the youth is higher compared to other age groups. It leads to several problems

such

brining

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bringing

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up future adult criminals and

popularization

Correct article usage

the popularization

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of a criminal life among

the

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apply

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minors. These problems need to be solved as soon as possible. First and foremost, teenagers, who

started

Wrong verb form

start

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breaking the law, may be hardly addicted to

this

way of life,

thus

they might continue

such

lifestyle

Correct article usage

a lifestyle

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further

in their adulthood.

Therefore

, the crime rate among adults will rise.

Hence

, schools should encourage teachers and other teaching staff to have a conversation about the drawbacks of an

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

life,

also

the police officers may give a speech about

this

Additionally

, to put more attention to the teenagers who may be easily involved

to commit

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in committing

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a felony,

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

they can use

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the

show examples

help of the social welfare department or psychologists if it is necessary.

Secondly

, other perpetrators can encourage youngsters to start an

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

lifestyle, thereby they increase

Change the article

the

show examples

number of young lawbreakers. In that case, parents should be warned by

police

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the police

show examples

or school,

then

they need to talk to them and observe their

behavior

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behaviour

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all the time.

Furthermore

, teachers and parents ought to monitor their social media activity, because it is the most possible way to attract them. In conclusion, everyone, who has a

conection

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connection

with youth, should remember

about

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apply

show examples

Correct article usage

the

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danger of a bad influence. Schools and parents must cooperate to keep teens away from offence,

otherwise

Add a comma

otherwise,

show examples

the crime rate among teens will only

incease

Correct your spelling

increase

Submitted by kama.star.00 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in terms of clarity and relevance to the topic.

task achievement

The response addresses the task to some extent, but there is a lack of clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other age groups. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to solve it ?

Fully explain your ideas

Today, many people do not know their neighbours in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this?

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter, •say which part-time course you booked •explain why you need to cancel your booking • ask about booking a different course

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem? You should write at least 250 words.

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?