In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?

#countries #respect #people #society

Nowadays, elderly people are still not

considerated

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considered

considerate

enough in many countries. What could be the reasons and the effects it might have on our society? On

one

Correct article usage

the one

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hand, if the elder generations are given insufficient respect

in my opinion

Add the comma(s)

, in my opinion,

show examples

it is

due to

the lack of

insfrastuctures

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infrastructure

infrastructures

and facilities for the elderly given by the government. As proven by the

Sociologes

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Sociology

Karl Marx 9 out of 10

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

believe that elder humans have big difficulties in order to live a curious life and

government

Correct article usage

the government

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should do something about it.

On the other hand

, if they have a hard lifestyle it is

due to

the lack of action from the rest of the population. Since they are thinking too much about

there

Correct your spelling

their

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own things rather than helping change. Coming back to the study of Marx the 9 out of 10 who believe it is

due to

the State. The 1 believe that it is actually their fault and that if we want to change things it should

stant

Correct your spelling

start

with mentalities. If the state doesn’t do something

then

you should be the one acting for the oldest generations.

However

this

doesn’t only affect the elderly people. Since it proves that our generation is caring more about

themselfs

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themselves

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than

the

Correct article usage

apply

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others And it is creating a more

egocentrical

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egocentric

egocentrically

society which will start

complanin

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complain

only if they are the

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

affected.

However

, we can still hope for change.

Finally

, we can clearly say that if in many countries the older

one’s

Change noun form

ones

show examples

today are shown insufficient respect is

due to

the country’s laws but not only

also

the mentalities and

this

will just end

upcreating

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up creating

selfcare

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self-care

self care

society of individuals who only look out for

themselfs

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

Submitted by santos_dij on Tue Nov 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure is weak and lacks coherence. The introduction and conclusion need improvement. Work on supporting the main points more clearly and effectively.

task achievement

The response is incomplete and lacks clear and comprehensive ideas. More relevant and specific examples are needed to support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

social structures
nuclear families
extended family
intergenerational respect
dual-income households
technological advancements
perception
value shifts
vigor
innovation
increased mobility
neglected
mental health
generational divide
misunderstandings
stereotypes
social fabric
healthcare strain
inadequate care
quality of life

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In many countries today insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reasons for this? What problems might this cause in society?

Fully explain your ideas

Writing sample, preferably on a topic related to aging studies and/or gerontology, that demonstrates strong logical reasoning and written communication skills.

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