IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Percentage of students giving good ratings for different aspects of a university

#percentage #students #ratings #aspects #university
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Initially
, in 2000 good voting rate was 65% for Technical Quality
whereas
 the rate for Print Resources and Building/teaching Facilities were 87% and 77% respectively.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of satisfied students of Technical Quality diminished to 69% in 2010 before decreasing to 63% in 2005 and Print Resources reduced only by 1% in the same 5-year period. Between the 2 lowest rated figures,
while
 Electronic Resources experienced a dramatic increase from 45% to 88% after 10 years, the Range of modules offered slightly dropped from 32% to 27%. Building/teaching Facilities
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 a unique result by remaining the same throughout the periods with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rate of 77%.
Submitted by zeynalli.tarana on

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Introduction/Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of a coherent written piece. Consider starting with an introductory sentence that clearly states the purpose or topic of the essay, and end with a conclusive statement that summarizes the main points or provides a final thought.
Cohesion
Make use of cohesive devices and transitions to improve the logical flow of your essay. This includes using words like 'however,' 'moreover,' 'on the other hand,' etc., to effectively connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Completion
Your response to the task partially fulfills the requirements. However, it lacks a complete exploration of all the presented data. Ensure that all aspects of the given information are covered and clearly explained.
Idea Development
Your essay presents ideas but they need to be expressed more comprehensively. Try to elaborate further on each point, providing more detailed information and clarification, to fully convey your thoughts.
Example Relevance
While you included specific examples, ensure that they are fully developed and relevant to support your main points. Each example should clearly relate to the corresponding aspect being discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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