Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention

Whether advertisements in our life might have

attract

Change the verb form

attracted

show examples

Correct article usage

the pubic

show examples

pubic

Correct your spelling

public

show examples

to buy things, or just that

people

feel tired and don't give it a sight is certainly up for debate. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

side

Change to a plural noun

sides

show examples

this

issue and conclude by explaining my own

view

. It is often argued that advertising can

Wrong verb form

persuade

show examples

persuading

Wrong verb form

persuade

show examples

people

to buy

Correct article usage

a company's

show examples

company's

Correct article usage

a company's

show examples

stuff. One reason for

this

view

is that the advertisements

Change the verb form

are

show examples

drawing the ideal life by using their products

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that

people

will believe they can reach the same place if they buy the goods.

In contrast

, opponents of

this

view

maintain that advertisement is too often surrounding in our life that

people

are tired to

spend

Verb problem

pay

show examples

attention

Change preposition

show examples

it. And some

people

think the more

fenqucy

Correct your spelling

fancy

they saw in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

everywhere, the more

negitive

Correct your spelling

negative

feeling grow in

theur

Correct your spelling

their

mind. In conclusion, my personal

view

is that the huge amount of advertising surrounding us

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

people

tired more

Correct word choice

than then

show examples

then

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

desire

of buying

Change preposition

to buy

show examples

. If they still want to

sall

Correct your spelling

sell

call

their products as well, maybe

improve

Wrong verb form

improving

show examples

quectly

Correct your spelling

quickly

is the better reason to buy

Change preposition

from

show examples

me.

Submitted by bookcool5 on Tue Nov 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clarity and coherence in presenting ideas. The arguments are not well-developed and lack appropriate supporting examples.

task response

Lack of clarity in expressing personal opinion and providing balanced views on both sides of the argument. The essay needs to fully address the prompt by considering both perspectives in a balanced manner.

grammatical range

The essay contains multiple grammatical errors that affect clarity and coherence. Clearer sentence structures and better use of linking words are needed for improved coherence and cohesion.

lexic resource

Limited range of vocabulary and inappropriate word choices affect the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. Use of more precise and varied vocabulary will enhance the lexical resource.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

182 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
In the future,transport will be very different from the present,even,vehicles will be without drivers, and only passengers will be present in them.
5
band
University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages!
Continuing tertiary education in other countries has become a new trend for students. Overall, I reckon that studying overseas is beneficial in that line of getting a better education system and developing an independent character; however, this notion could bring some drawbacks which are pushing down the university qualities especially in the poor countries.
5
band
Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There has been a debate about whether people should accept bad situation or try to improve it. Some say that individuals should just live on with negitave things in their life, others believe this kind of situation can be solved if people willing to try.
8
band
Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives?
Some people argue that it is pointless to follow traditions in modern society considering we need to achieve future progress. In my view, I completely disagree with this opinion because traditions play a significant role in our contemporary life and no conflicts can be seen between tradition and innovation.
4
band
Many people believe social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?
In the last decades, social networking has grown exponentially. Large amounts of people and institutions use these platforms to share content. These technological advances have led to better interconnected world, however, there are some negative aspects about it. In the following text positives and negative aspects of social networking will be discussed. Firstly , social networking is a great tool to keep individuals connected with the outside world. Indeed, social media allows people to keep in touch with their family and friends no matter how far they are. Moreover , now days everyone can have access to worldwide news, thanks to social media networks. In addition , authority abuses can be avoided when it becomes viral on social media. For example, in the United States of America, some police officers try to illegally arrest innocent people for no logical reasons. By publishing a video on social media about these situations, people and the law can take acti...

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages!

Traditions are about the past and innovation is about the future, and it has been argued that we need to let go of traditions for the sake of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What role should traditions have in our lives?

Many people believe social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?