In some countries, young people are living in richer and healthier condition but less happy. What are the reasons? What might be done to solve this issue?
Nowadays, some folk
claims
that Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
young
generation Correct article usage
the young
have
a Change the verb form
has
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
life
and live
in really great conditions but a lack of luckiness Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
make
their Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
life
unsuccessful. The main reason for this
is that social medias
destroy their Correct your spelling
media
life
and spend
more Wrong verb form
spending
time
with close people
is a viable solution.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that even young people
very rich and live in benevolent conditions have a lack of happiness because of social medias
where Correct your spelling
media
people
acquire sense
of happiness from it but not from real Add an article
a sense
life
and it destroy
theirChange the verb form
destroys
dophamine
system . Correct your spelling
dopamine
For instance
, if they will
eat Verb problem
apply
very
yummy meal, Add an article
a very
such
as chocolate, it will give them natural dophamine
, Correct your spelling
dopamine
whereas
social medias
will give Correct your spelling
media
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
dophamine
for a couple of Correct your spelling
dopamine
time
and it can badly Fix the agreement mistake
times
affected
Change the verb form
affect
be affected
on
their well-being. A primary example of Change preposition
apply
this
students
from the USA, Add a missing verb
is students
which
spend all of their Fix the agreement mistake
who
time
watching Instagram and as a result
they had
Wrong verb form
have
a issues
with their mental health.
The most practical solution to Correct the article-noun agreement
issues
an issue
this
is that abandon watching social medias
and spend most of the time
with family due to
the fact that they will support emotionally people
and when folk will be
near close Wrong verb form
are
people
it might give them a sense of enjoyment because family play a key role in human's life
.
For example
, if they will be
near family, they will not be alone and they will be more happy. Recent Wrong verb form
are
reseacrh
found that over half of Correct your spelling
research
population
who was rich but felt less happy increased their productivity and were happy because of Correct article usage
the population
family
who Add an article
the family
a family
aid
Wrong verb form
aided
themselves
in Correct pronoun usage
them
the
difficult Correct article usage
apply
time
.
In conclusion, obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
wealthy
Correct article usage
a wealthy
life
and do
not Verb problem
apply
be
happy Wrong verb form
being
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
real
mistake and to prevent it most Add an article
a real
people
should follow examples
of other public, Correct article usage
the examples
such
as abandon to watch
social Wrong verb form
abandoning watching
medias
and Correct your spelling
media
be spend
Wrong verb form
spending
time
with family.Submitted by aikumarbekarys on
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coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by using clear signposting and organizing ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion summarizing the main points.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.