The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average austraian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #austraian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

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The pie charts illustrate the average

house keeping

Correct your spelling

housekeeping

show examples

energy

Use synonyms

consumption and proportions of the earth heating gases of household

appliences

Correct your spelling

appliances

in Australia.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

appliences

Correct your spelling

appliances

which heat the

house

Change noun form

house's

show examples

inner space and

water

Use synonyms

, utilize the largest amount of power.

Linking Words

Additionally

Add a comma

Additionally,

show examples

domestic

water

Use synonyms

heating

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

and other appliances produce

larger

Add an article

a larger

show examples

amount of air

pullotion

Correct your spelling

pollution

Australlian

Correct your spelling

Australian

houses. The three most outstanding

energy

Use synonyms

users are heaters,

water

Use synonyms

heaters, and other facilities which

also

Linking Words

are

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

green house

Correct your spelling

greenhouse

show examples

gas

producer

Fix the agreement mistake

producers

show examples

as well.The biggest proportion of

energy

Use synonyms

aquiring

Correct your spelling

acquiring

devices belongs to heaters, sharing 42% of

overall

Linking Words

energy

Use synonyms

use. The

water

Use synonyms

heating

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

, which

rank

Correct subject-verb agreement

ranks

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second,

Linking Words

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

responsible for 40% ,

also

Linking Words

the other appliances comprise 15% of the figure. The gas emission chart

paticularly

Correct your spelling

particularly

present

Change the verb form

presents

show examples

that 32%, 28%, and 15% of total heating gas release route to

water

Use synonyms

heating, heating, and other purposes. The three minor power consumers are the chilling units, the lights, and the refrigerators which

are accounted

Wrong verb form

account

show examples

for 2%, 4%, and 7%. Meanwhile, they are

least

Change the article

the least

show examples

air pulloting

Add a hyphen

air-pulloting

show examples

households with 12%, 7%, and 5% percentages.

Submitted by saba.yazdany18 on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

175 words

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average austraian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter -say where the park is, -say how often this happens -give a description of the man and the dogs.

Despite a large number of gyms , salandry lifestyle is still gaining popularity, What problem cause by this,

Image that if a professor wants students to learn as much as possible about a project in a short period of time, it is better to work in a group or it is better to let students study alone? Which one is better?

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of traveling to a workplace every day. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working from home. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.