The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average austraian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used  in an average austraian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The pie charts illustrate the average
house keeping
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housekeeping
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energy
consumption and proportions of the earth heating gases of household
appliences
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appliances
in Australia.
Overall
, the
appliences
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appliances
which heat the
house
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house's
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inner space and
water
, utilize the largest amount of power.
Additionally
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Additionally,
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domestic
water
heating
system
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systems
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and other appliances produce
larger
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a larger
show examples
amount of air
pullotion
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pollution
in
Australlian
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Australian
houses. The three most outstanding
energy
users are heaters,
water
heaters, and other facilities which
also
are
main
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the main
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green house
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greenhouse
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gas
producer
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producers
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as well.The biggest proportion of
energy
aquiring
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acquiring
devices belongs to heaters, sharing 42% of
overall
energy
use. The
water
heating
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, which
rank
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ranks
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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second,
are
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is
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responsible for 40% ,
also
the other appliances comprise 15% of the figure. The gas emission chart
paticularly
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particularly
present
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presents
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that 32%, 28%, and 15% of total heating gas release route to
water
heating, heating, and other purposes. The three minor power consumers are the chilling units, the lights, and the refrigerators which
are accounted
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account
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for 2%, 4%, and 7%. Meanwhile, they are
least
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the least
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air pulloting
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air-pulloting
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households with 12%, 7%, and 5% percentages.
Submitted by saba.yazdany18 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, overall".
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

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