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Band 1

High school should allow students to study the courses that students want to study. Specify reasons and example to support your opinion.

#school #students #study #courses #support
Three pie charts illustrate the proportion percentages of sodium, saturated fat and added
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 in four main meals
such
 as breakfast, lunch, snacks, and
dinner
 in the USA.
Overall
, it is noticed that in the sodium and saturated fat pie charts
dinner
 has the most important nutrients,
although
 it is not true for added
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 and is used the most in
snacks meal
Fix the agreement mistake
snack meals
show examples
.
Firstly
, from
Sodium
Correct article usage
the Sodium
show examples
 pie chart it can be
undrestand
Correct your spelling
understood
 that it is most used at
dinner
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 43
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
then
 lunch
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 29
percnet
Correct your spelling
per cent
 and
finally
sancks
Correct your spelling
snacks
 and breakfast the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
same
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of 14. The second chart shows that 37
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of saturated
ft
Correct your spelling
fat
show examples
 is
belong
Wrong verb form
belongs
show examples
 to
dinner
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
,
then
 26
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for lunch, 21
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for snacks and 16
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
brekfast
Correct your spelling
breakfast
.
Submitted by anayasinwriting on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some structure and organization, but additional clarity and coherence are needed to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
The response partially addresses the task but lacks depth and thorough development. Provide more detailed and focused ideas to fully respond to the prompt.
lexical resource
The essay displays a basic range of vocabulary and language use, but there is room for improvement in utilizing more precise and varied vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
While there is some variety in sentence structure, errors and inconsistencies in grammar and punctuation detract from the overall effectiveness of the essay. Focus on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence construction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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