In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

It is true that the rural areas are facing a declining trend in relation to the proportion of their residents as a vast majority of people from

countryside

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the countryside

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are immigrating to big

cities

. I consider

this

development to be disadvantageous. There are various reasons why I see the above assertion as a negative pattern occurring in many parts of the world.

Firstly

, villages have been mostly proven to be the origin of

Correct article usage

apply

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sheer culture and tradition of a nation in which maternal languages are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

spoken and traditional events are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

valued.

However

, the wide trend of leaving

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

would pose a threat to all of these precious heritages.

Secondly

, local businesses and rural-related careers like agriculture, farming, pastoral and so on, would disappear in the foreseen future if people continue travelling to big

cities

, bringing not only environmental damage but

also

organic food scarcity.

Moreover

, there would be

also

a lack of workforce if the young rural population tended to move to larger

cities

Following

this

, never will be local schools stabilised

due to

the absence of young sophisticated teachers who have immigrated. From an opposite perspective, another consequence would be

cities

facing an increasing trend in their population which of course may lead to

overpopulated-related

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overpopulation-related

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issues.

Finally

, it requires much more

investmenys

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investments

investment

from governments in terms of maintaining the remaining lives in

countryside

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the countryside

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and

also

the range of facilities, infrastructures , and other social services in large

cities

. In conclusion, nowadays, it is becoming usual for people to leave their maternal hometown in order to take place in metropolitan areas which in my view is a negative development.

Submitted by z.rajabi on Tue Nov 14 2023

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Task Achievement

The introduction and conclusion could be more focused and clearly linked to the topic. Make sure to address the prompt directly.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay shows a logical structure and good use of supportive examples. However, the introduction and conclusion need to be improved for better cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with relevant terminology. However, be cautious of overly complex language that may hinder clarity.

Grammatical Range

The essay displays generally accurate and varied use of grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure for improved clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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