IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People who do not use social media networks will always fall behind in career development opportunities. To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

#people #media #networks #fall #career #development #opportunities #prediction
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It is claimed that social
media
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 has a chief importance
on
Change preposition
in
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 achieving better future
prospect
Fix the agreement mistake
prospects
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 for the professionals who
accustomed
Add a missing verb
are accustomed
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 to
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 it in comparison to others.
However
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, in
this
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era
Add a comma
era,
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 we can not turn
the
Correct article usage
a
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 blind eye
on
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to
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 the paramount effect of social
media
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 but the fact that
career
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 advancement will
be achieve
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be achieved
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 only by relying on social platforms can not generalized for everyone. In the first place, social
media
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 can provide unique opportunities for professional networking
and
Correct word choice
apply
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personal branding, and staying updated on industry trends
although
Linking Words
career
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 development is not
depended
Replace the word
dependent
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 on one factor. Traditional methods
such
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 as in-person networking, professional certifications, educational qualifications and relevant work experience still hold significant value. Not all industries heavily rely on social
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 for professional networking or job opportunities. Traditional industries
such
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 as manufacturing, agriculture, or specialized fields may prioritize alternative means of communication and recruitment. In
such
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 cases, the absence of social
media
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 usage may not hinder
career
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 development. In the second place, social
media
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 can turn
to
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into
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 source of disturbance for some people.
This
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 new technology has some characteristics which can distract individuals with other alluring themes and cause hindrance in the way of exploring new developments.
Also
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, some individuals find social
media
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 overwhelming and can not excel
their
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in their
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 jobs in the digital environment. Admittedly, it is true that social
media
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provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 a basis for
further
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 success and
broaden
Correct subject-verb agreement
broadens
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 the horizons in the professional fields.
However
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,
this
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 tends to happen when a person
being
Wrong verb form
is
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 qualified and expert in his
career
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 beforehand. In conclusion, one's success in
career
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 development depends on a combination of factors, including skills, experience, networking, and adaptability, rather than solely relying on social
media
Use synonyms
 usage.
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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt and clearly presents a position on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is decent, but more cohesive devices and a clearer progression of ideas would strengthen the essay.
lexical resource
Vary the vocabulary and use more precise and sophisticated lexical choices to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
A combination of simple and complex grammatical structures is used, but more complex structures and fewer errors are needed to improve grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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